Finding Contentment: Freshman Year
by Centon-Nikki
Summary: Rewrite and continuation of Contentment. Please remember this is a different story to the original. There will be three other stories to follow, one for each of the college years
1. Prologue

**A/N: Sorry it took so long, hope you enjoy :) Just remember, this is a different story to what was previously published.**

"Bro, you're so freaking lucky you didn't get busted," Mason said stumbling along the road. "Okay, who's next?"

"You," another Brodus pointing at the freshman. "What's your name again?"

"John, John Cena," he replied wishing they hadn't noticed him. With one or two drinks in him, John was still sober and nowhere near the state of his teammates.

"Well, John," the senior looked around as he spoke. "Since we've wandered into gay town. This is your challenge my friend. Your dare, should you accept to choose it-"

"Which, if you don't, you won't play on the team," Jinder threatened.

"You task, my dear friend, Joey-"

"John."

"Joe, that's what I said, your challenge, is to go into the gay bar over there," he said pointing in the wrong direction. His teammate moved his finger. "Thank you. Get dirty with a gay."

A round of cheers went up as John cringed. Everyone else so far had dares of drink a pint in one go, or stand on the table and strip. He'd do any of those. Why did he get given dance with a gay guy?

The group of lads dragged him over to the club and they paid to enter. John hoped that they'd ID him and refuse entry but instead the club allowed him without checking. When they entered, the lively, upbeat and open atmosphere outshone the other clubs they'd been to that night. He looked away from the stage with poles when he saw male dancers in their underwear gyrating.

"Who takes your fancy then Joey?" his drunk teammate crowed.

"No one," he yelled over the music.

"Just remember, you don't do this, you get no matches this season," the more sober senior reminded him.

"I'll get the drinks in, we might be here a while as I drum up the courage," John said trying to smile.

He left the group and weaved his way through the crowd toward the bar. As he waited for an opening he looked around and took in the scene. The nearby stage captured his gaze along with the guys dancing on each other.

"Hey, good-looking, buy me a drink?" a guy asked who looked younger than John. John guessed he was from Texas, with his chaps and cowboy hat. As though to punctuate his question, he ran his hand up John's arm.

"Um, you know," he said watching the hand in despair. "I'm here with-"

"The good ones are always taken," the young man said turning on his heel and disappearing back into the crowd.

John didn't know a guy could be that small after puberty. He wanted to go after him and tell him to hit the gym and build muscle. No guy should be that scrawny. But hey, he's gay right, didn't that make him a chick or something. He looked around again and saw guys with different builds. Big men, scrawny guys such as the one who'd just come up to him, old guys, young guys. John corrected himself, there wasn't a particular look that went with the stereotype.

"So, if you didn't want that twink, you must want a guy with muscles," a man said from behind, his hand resting on John's hips. Are guys this forward? He never acted that way with women, he figured it must be a confidence thing with gay guys.

The spectacle caused his teammates to erupt into a cheer across the other side of the club. Shit, if he wanted to get a match, he needed to do this to get time on the football field.

"I don't prefer one over the other," John said unwilling to turn around with the guy being so close. The hands slipped away, and he breathed again. Just when he thought it safe, the man moved to stand in front of him and smiled. Okay, not good-looking, he was a country guy trying to make it in the city.

"Let's skip the drink and hit the dance floor," the guy said taking him by the hand and pulling him away from the bar. Another holler arose from his crowd and his face reddened in embarrassment. Dancing with a guy when his teammates watched and laughed. Not cool.

It was strange having another man hold his hand and leading him through the crowd. When they reached the floor John tried to keep space between them but his dance partner wanted to be close. He slipped his hands back onto John's hips and stepped into John, pushing a leg between John's and hinting for John to ride it.  
John gulped, the guy raised his arms to rest around the neck of his dance partner. The guy's hands travelled over John's back and chest and John hated to admit that he didn't dislike it. Unsure if he enjoyed it, having strength in the hands touching him felt better than the women he'd danced with at his prom.

As he relaxed enough to get through the dance, a hand grabbed his collar and pull him away choking him, "Come on, lover boy."

One footballer pulled him away, and he ended up in a mass of guys with the realisation of what happened flooding back to him. Embarrassed, the heat radiated off his face as they jeered at him for going through with it. At least he knew his moment was over and his turn to join in the fun began as the other freshman got their initiation.

 **A/N: Short I know, but it was just an intro**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, get comfortable, this is a long chapter. I should say, each chapter is a month of activity, so while some months will be long, others will be short. Hopefully it reads well and I hope you enjoy enough to review.**

* * *

"I want you to look around this building, it will be your first stop if you have any issues. Even if it's just a limp, I want you in here talking to the trainers and getting yourself checked out," the Coach explained.

John had seen the pictures, but he'd not visited the college to have a tour of the facilities. The paperwork he'd received showed he might spend time in the building later in his course as he took on the more involved courses in his degree. With introductory courses this year, he figured he'd be in here for his football needs.

"These men and women," the Coach said pointing out those stood nearby. "Are the colleges' athletic trainers and Physical Therapists. There will be a doctor on site game days. Just in case."

John looked around the people in the building and he thought he recognised them from the brochures. He wondered who he might work with during the season, hoping he didn't visit them often. As he looked around, a man not much taller than him, breezed past and went up to the Coach. With his back to the group of footballers he had a quiet conversation and John wanted to be nosy and considered what they were discussing. The man appeared to be someone important at the college. He looked authoritative and forbidding with his tattoo sleeves.

The Coach looked over at the team and that piqued John's interest.

"Okay, you lot, hands up who went out Saturday night?"

They looked around one another as they pondered whether they should admit to it. Coach wasn't happy and after a moment, a few hands rose including John's.

"Congratulations, you've now earned yourself a chance to work out in the strength and conditioning room," the Coach said with a smile. "Let's get going."

While most of the players hung their heads, John wanted to get going. He'd been working out for years to get his shape and size. As they followed the Coach through the building to the training room, John caught sight of the tattooed man leaning against the doorframe with a smirk.

When they entered the room, the trainers showed them the equipment and how to use it before sending them off with settings or weights to use. The various coaches and trainers made their way around the room, pushing them on to do more. If the whistle blew, they were to finish what they were doing and move onto the next piece of equipment.

"Randy," the Coach hollered across the room at the tattooed man still present, helping the footballers with their technique where necessary. "What do you think of the new recruits?"

"This lot? Not impressed yet Coach," Randy said shrugging. "You should push 'em even further."

"You've got a warped brain," Coach said laughing. "Everyone step it up a level or weight."

A chorus of groans arose from the other footballers as John kept going. So far the workout didn't faze him. Randy moved away from the doorway to one of the smaller guys, taking the weights off of him and correcting his posture before passing back the weights. He stayed nearby to make sure he did the exercise with the right technique.

* * *

John's roommate arrived today, and he wanted to give him plenty of chance to get settled in before introducing himself. The room had little space, and it worsened if there were two of you in there as you try to unpack. He headed over to the dining hall to grab a coffee and something to eat.

"Cena," someone called his name as he started along the path. He thought he recognised the voice and when he turned to respond, he lost his voice. Randy.

"Um, yeah?" he replied.

"How you settling in so far?"

"Um, yeah, fine, so far, but then class hasn't started yet," he said trying to keep light hearted.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Randy said as they strolled along the path. "Did you chose a major?"

"Exercise Science," John confirmed.

"So you want to get involved in the fitness business?"

"I've always been sporty, I guess I'm just going with my interests," John said shrugging. He didn't understand why he'd chosen the topic, but he guessed it made sense.

"Along with football?"

"I guess, yeah."

"If you had to choose one over the other-"

"Football."

Randy smirked and nodded, "Because you'll be noticed."

"Yeah," John said. "Is that wrong?"

"Depends why you want it," Randy said stopping and looking at John. "A football scholarship to a Division III team doesn't lend itself to getting famous. If you want that, you need to consider transferring to a Division I school next year."

"Who mentioned fame," John said in rebuttal.

"Why else do you want something that?" Randy asked starting along the path again.

John sighed and followed Randy, it wasn't even the first day of classes and someone had quizzed him. He didn't want to go into his reasons for his comments in the fitness centre. He'd slipped up, he didn't put an invitation out for counselling.

"Just because I want to be recognised, doesn't mean I want the fame," John defended himself.

"Again I ask-"

"Why do you care?"

"Who said I did?" Randy rebuffed.

They continued walking in silence, John let Randy lead the way regardless of his destination. He thought it strange how relaxed the man's presence made him even if he'd been quizzing him.

"So did you understand the hints I gave your teammates during the workout?"

John looked over at him in shock and slight embarrassment, "You-"

"It's hard not to," Randy interrupted with a hint of a smile. "Your eyes were on me the whole way around the room."

"I... I... Sorry," John said going red. "And yes, I've been working out since I turned twelve so I learnt the proper techniques early."

"There's room for improvement," he stated.

"Why didn't you-"

"I'm not concerned you'd hurt yourself. The others were liable to do themselves damage," Randy said shrugging. "You need to tidy it up, which will allow you to push yourself more."

"Can you go through what I need to improve," John asked as they reached the dining hall.

"You can book a session through the centre, but there will be trainers around when the team workouts," Randy explained. "They should pick up on the same things I did."

"Okay, well I might book in with you if they don't tell me," he said reaching for door handle.

"Yeah, you do that," Randy said winking and heading on his way.

John stood shocked at Randy's small action. What did it mean? Should he be explaining to Randy that he wasn't gay? Should he presume the same? Even though he had given no sign. A wink meant nothing. Why did his mind go to it being a sexual advance? Ever since that stupid dance at the club, his mind kept wandering.

Oh hell, he couldn't kid anyone, it's not one occurrence; he'd sensed it long ago, shaking it off as teenage hormones, but he now had to do it again. He shouldn't get worked up over a miscommunication on his part.

* * *

John jogged along the corridor, muttering a hello to the other residents, then knocked as he entered the room.

"Hi," he said to the blonde.

"Hi, are you my cell mate?"

John laughed and nodded his confirmation offering his hand out to shake, "John Cena."

"Chris Irvine," he said. "You settled? How long since you arrived?"

"Couple of weeks. I've been here for football practice," John said getting comfy on his bed. "So what you studying?"

"I'm undeclared," Chris explained. "I'm interested in too many things and can't choose what my major should be. Someone recommended going undeclared until I'd chosen. You?"

"Exercise Science. I wasn't too bothered when I filled in my applications. I went with something that fit alongside my football."

"So you're a footballer?" Chris asked putting his clothes away in the chest of drawers.

"This semester that will be my focus. I want to study as well-"

Chris nodded and John wondered if the clash of priorities may cause problems.

"Are you on any of the sports teams?"

"Wrestling," Chris said. "I've been looking at the athletic trainer courses in case they interest me but I've put Performing Arts courses on my list, I love music."

"What genre?"

"Heavy Metal."

"Cool."

"So, football, you must be a ladies' man," Chris said with a devious smile.

"Um, no, I'm the safe friend," John shrugged. "At least, that's how most of the girls describe me. Girls tell me they can be friends with me."

"You are so going to be my wing man on nights out," Chris said laughing.

John laughed along with him, praying nobody ever mentioned his night with for the football players.

* * *

 _The next day_

As soon as he opened the door noise flooded in from the football field. The team were mid practice.  
Intrigued by how the team were shaping up with the new recruits, Randy did a detour on his way to his office. He'd planned to check his emails before his first class of the semester but he wanted to watch the team practice before their match on Friday evening. He still wasn't sure he could go this week.

Entered the field he wandered over to the bleachers taking a seat and sipping his coffee. They were just running drills so nothing special but they worked well together and listened to the coaches.

When a Coach is hollering at you it's easy to listen.

He checked the time, he still had a good long while before he needed to leave. He stayed in the stands remaining calm before his day ahead. Being around the football field kept him mellow, the sound reminded him of less troubling times in high school. His friend through college reckoned he liked the muscles on show, a known weakness of his, but Randy denied it and laughed. Half the guys on the pitch weren't muscular, their pads bulked them out.

As he continued sipping his coffee, one player jogged off the pitch toward the bench. When he took his helmet off, Randy recognised the young man, John Cena. He'd spotted him around the campus yesterday and as he made his way over to speak to him he realised he had no reason. John intrigued him. He didn't understand why, but his curiosity drove him toward John.

He continued checking John out for a few moments until the Coach's whistle brought the team in to him. Before John went over, he lifted his shirt to wipe away the sweat from his eyes.

Randy's coffee stopped on the way to his mouth as he stared at the washboard abs. John had worked out before college, and John had confirmed he was into lifting since he turned twelve, but Randy hadn't imagined his body.

John dropped his shirt and grabbed his helmet jogging over to the team and kneeling with the others.

"Fuck he's hot," Randy muttered. The fact he'd said it out loud snapped him out of his trance. He grabbed his bag and raced out, running to his office and cursing himself for considering John in that way.

As a student, nothing could ever come of it. Why did he always fall for the unobtainable?

* * *

 _Two days later_

The pair ate their food while chatting. Chris told John he'd met a girl at breakfast and John knew he'd know the girl even if Chris didn't introduce them. It wasn't long until John mentioned practice and Chris rolled his eyes.

"What?" John challenged.

"You need to get interests away from football. You take it too serious," Chris told him.

"Why is that so wrong?"

"It's not wrong John, but I don't understand the obsession."

John dropped his fork in his food and sighed. He wanted people to leave him alone. Randy had challenged him the other day and now Chris.

"I'm not trying to piss you off, I consider you a friend and as a friend, I may be concerned," Chris explained.

"I get it, I do," John said not offering information. He picked his fork up and pushed his food around his plate. The pair sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, Chris regretting opening his mouth. "Okay, I'll explain. But it's not the reason you think."

"I'm listening."

"So I'm one of five brothers. The second eldest," John stated. "My eldest brother and I have the typical sibling rivalry, on account of I took his parents away from him. It got better once my other brothers arrived."

"How is this-"

"I'm getting there," he interrupted and Chris put his hands up in defence. "As we've grown up, we always had what we needed, always, I have good parents, but I get overlooked. Because I'm the quiet one compared to my brothers, it happens more often than not."

"I imagine your oldest brother gets the glory because he's older," Chris intimated.

"I don't begrudge him that. My younger siblings get attention because they need it. They can't fend for themselves yet. But it means I need to fend for myself."

"How does your football fit in to that?"

"I'm good at it. I hope to be the best I can be with it, if it helps me in later life," John said. "The college is sports orientated. If I make a name for myself, I can do whatever."

"John Cena, King of the World," Chris joked.

"Don't take the piss," John said trying to keep a straight face.

"Man, I've got to put up with this attention seeking obsession until the end of the semester won't I?"

"Longer if we hit the playoffs," John said.

"That's fine, I'll get you back when the wrestling starts. And that goes on until the middle of March."

"God, help me."

Chris laughed at John's reaction as he stood and took their empty plates over to the trays.

"Come on, wingman, I need to get a drink before my class."

"I'm not your wingman," John corrected as he followed Chris through the dining hall toward the vending machines.

"You will be Saturday night," Chris said. "We're hitting the local bar to celebrate the first win of the season."

* * *

 _Game Day_

The four thousand strong crowd were crazy at the first football game of the season. John stood with the team as they raised their chants getting into the game.

John tried not to be disappointed when he didn't make the starting line-up but decided not to quibble when none of the freshmen made it either. His chance will come along with the other freshmen. He'd get time on the pitch at tonight and show the Coach his capabilities and get on the starting squad as the season continued.

Both teams started strong and went back and forth for most of the first quarter. With three and a half minutes left, the team's quarterback connected with the wide receiver from twenty two yards out giving the team a lead over their opponents.

The adrenaline pumped through them as they hit the field again. The first touchdown of the game going to their team. It riled the other team and a couple minutes later they evened the score just as the first quarter came to a close.

John concentrated on the game but he knew someone was watching him as he sat on the side-lines raring to get in the game. He turned, thinking another player was nearby, but instead his eyes travelled to the bleachers where Randy stood leaning against the side of the bleachers.

The second quarter started with the opponents keeping their spirits high as they hit another touchdown taking them to a 12-6 lead. John's spirits deflated as he looked around the grounds again. He looked back over toward where he'd seen Randy stood but found him not to be there anymore. John's heart sped up having lost sight of the man. Had he left, disappointed that the team were losing, or getting a drink? Why did he get so concerned over a man disappearing? It narked something inside him, not able to spot him anymore.

"Cena, you're in," the Coach called snapping him from his thoughts. He grabbed his helmet and went over to be told the play and he headed onto the pitch.

He ran the plays as the coaches taught them and they got another touchdown, but it wasn't enough. With five minutes until half time, the team fumbled the ball and their opponents took control, scoring another touchdown and taking them to 23-12 at half time.

The team headed in to the locker room and as they passed the bleachers, John spotted and locked eyes with Randy. He held his head high, not wishing to show weakness. They had another half to go with a comeback still achievable. John entered the locker room to the Coach gave them a rallying speech to go back out there and showing the crowd and their opponents what they could do; and it worked.

In the third quarter John started on the side-lines again. Whenever the opposition neared a score, John's team stepped up their defence and stopped every try.

* * *

 _After the match_

John dragged himself across the locker room trying his hardest to interact with the staff when they reiterated they'd had a good game regardless of the result. John found it of little consolation, he considered himself a failure. He'd set out to make a name for himself and he'd fallen at the first hurdle. What else could go wrong? He jinxed himself by asking that but it didn't matter anymore. They lost. John lifted his mood enough to get changed and get out of the locker room. He wanted to get fresh air and get away from everybody before he went back to the dorm with the disappointed faces. Chris wanted to cheer him up, but John wasn't ready for that.

As he went toward the exit he spotted a tall figure hanging around outside, John hoped he wasn't waiting for him. When he opened the door, his stomach flipped, Randy, looking casual, perched on the low wall.

"You okay?" Randy asked.

"You watched the match right?" John asked, dejected.

"I did," Randy stated. "You had a great match and you should be proud of your debut in college football."

"Whatever," John said walking away from Randy.

"Hey, come on, don't let one loss depress you. You still have a whole season which you might win every match and go through to the championships," Randy said falling in line with John.

"Why are you after me?"

"Because you looked defeated as you left the pitch, I wasn't heading home without checking you were okay. You looked worse than the other players."

"I thought you said I had a good game?" John stopped at shot fiery eyes at him.

"I meant your emotions when you were leaving the field," Randy explained. "Now stop with the overreacting. You had a good game. You will continue to have good matches and improve week on week."

"Why do you even care?"

"Because life shouldn't be taken so serious. You need to lighten up," Randy said looking as serious as he described John.

"I thought you're supposed to be serious when you know what you want to do in life?"

"Not at your age. You're eighteen, you can fuck up and get away with it as many times as you need be," Randy said shrugging and walking along with John again. "And tell no one I told you that."

John smirked at Randy. As much as he hated letting Randy cheer him up, the older man could do just that. John noticed Randy had a well-founded arrogance.

"At least you're smiling."

"I wasn't smiling," John said turning serious again.

"Please, it was a smile. And you should do it more often. If you stay as worked up as you are, you'll burn out. And you have too much to offer this world to let that happen," Randy said coming to a hat as they reached the car park. "Me."

"Huh?"

"I'm parked right there," he said smiling himself.

"Oh, well, I'm over there," John said pointing to the dormitories.

"Go find yourself someone to bed, it'll cheer you up," Randy said. When he realised what he said he turned a shade of pink. John didn't believe it possible, but he'd seen it with his own eyes. "Do not-"

"I promise," John said smiling. "I won't tell a soul you, a member of staff, told a student to go get laid."

Randy relaxed as he headed for his car, looking back at John who headed for dorms, "Hey John."

"Yeah?" John asked turning back to Randy.

"It's sound advice, you'll thank me for it," he said with a wink.

John stood as Randy retreated before turning and heading for his room. Had he said that?

* * *

 _Later that night_

The music pulsated around him as John sat with Chris, who had met up with his hot blonde from the other day and the girl's friend, Torrie.

Torrie looked at him before looking around the room at the various antics taking place, hoping to make contact. He should strike up a conversation, Randy had told him to get laid. He wasn't sure if he could do that, use a girl just to improve his mood.

"John, you buying a round of drinks?"

"I got the last one," he said giving Chris a glare. "You want a drink, peel her off your lap and head to the bar."

"Wow, John, are you looking to get both us girls for yourself."

"No."

He didn't even want to entertain the girl. Torrie appeared sweet, and he considered making conversation, but the loud music made it awkward to talk. It led to leaning in and John didn't want to give evidence her the wrong impression. Even asking her to head outside might do that.

Just considering Randy's advice made John anxious, it didn't sit right with him to bed a girl just to improve his mood. Did Randy do that? Did it make him a lowlife for doing it?

"John, lighten up," Chris murmured as he put a beer and a shot on the table for him.

John pushed the shot away and took his beer, sipping at the drink.

"You don't want?" Chris's ditzy blonde asked.

"I want a beer."

She shrugged before taking the shot and offering it to Torrie, who declined, before downing it as Chris had his.

Torrie moved her chair over smiling at John, "I'm not a heavy drinker."

"I don't drink strong spirits," John shrugged as he spoke over the music.

"So you're on the football team," Torrie said.

"Yeah, I am," he cursed her for mentioning it, but she had no clue the impact of such a simple statement. Regardless, it had an impact, and his disappointment flooded back from the loss. "Excuse me."

He got up from the table and made his way through the crowd toward the exit. As he walked along the road, Chris called. He slowed but didn't stop as Chris caught up with him.

"Dude, I'm just not in the mood," John said before Chris spoke, unhappy with his friend. "Sorry. We can head out tomorrow night. Blondie can come."

"You and Torrie got on then," Chris said smiling.

"I meant your girlfriend," John said rolling his eyes.

"Barbie? She's not my girlfriend," Chris denied.

"No, I didn't think that was the case," John said continuing.

"I'll tell the girls the plan," Chris called after him.

* * *

 _Two weeks later_

As soon as he finished practice the pain doubled. He didn't think he should be concerned, but he'd listened to the Coach's advice when term started and headed in and get it checked out.

He stood for a moment looking around for someone to talk to, gutted when Randy wasn't there. Everyone knew Randy listened to the students and let them explain.

"What do you need?"

John cursed, he didn't want Cody treating him. He did his job but didn't care for it. John didn't understand how someone behaved that way. Didn't you have to enjoy the job you did to do it daily?

"Um, I hurt my ankle during football practice," John explained.

"And?" Cody asked.

"Coach said to get checked out if we were in pain."

"It's a sprained ankle. You can rest an ankle without someone holding your hand," he said shaking his head and walking away.

John stood there for a moment, sure his face showed the disbelief of Cody's actions.

"Where's Randy when you need him?" he muttered to himself as he headed out the room, limping from the pain still shooting from his ankle.

John was an idiot he decided as he made his way across campus. Cody had insinuated how he should run home to Mommy if he couldn't cope with a sprained ankle, and he was right.

John didn't want to cause trouble and if Cody told him to get over it then that's what he'd do. He winced as the pain shot up his leg, reminding of the strength of the pain.

"John, you okay?" Randy asked.

"Yeah, I think I sprained my ankle," John said shrugging.

"You think?" Randy asked raising an eyebrow at him. "John, the rules say if you get hurt you report to a trainer."

"I did," John shrugged. "Cody said I sprained ankle."

"John?"

"I don't... that is... I'm not sure," John muttered trying to find his words.

"Come on, I'll examine it," Randy said nodding his head back toward the building.

"Fine."

John followed Randy back through the building toward the training room. Randy walked slower to make sure John kept up and didn't put more strain on the ankle.

When they reached the main room, John turned and found Cody staring at him, or Randy he wasn't sure. Either way, Cody looked pissed. He tried to follow Randy's lead and ignore him. Randy told John to hop up onto the examination table.

"Take your shoe and sock off," Randy said. "And you better not have feet which fell."

"What you won't treat me if I do?" John joked.

"Hell no. I'll make you go wash them first," Randy said smiling. "Hell if you'd been in the army you'd be on report for not taking care of them."

"For real?" John asked.

"I used to be in the Marines," Randy said shrugging.

"You did? That's so cool," John said smiling.

"It's okay. I didn't have the best experience."

"Why? What happened?" John asked.

Randy glared as if to tell him it wasn't any of his business. John chastised himself for asking, he hadn't meant to be rude, but he liked the thought of Randy in the Marines, trying to picture him in a uniform.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's fine. I don't reminisce," Randy said. "Okay, your ankle. Tell me what pain you have."

"Um, it's throbbing, pulsing, sometimes shooting," John said shrugging.

"Want to add stabbing to the list, then you covered everything," Randy said smirking.

"Funny, and I'm answering your question. It throbs but it sometimes shoots up my leg."

"What training have you been doing this morning? Did you go over on it? Overstretch?" Randy asked as he lifted John's foot to examine. He had soft hands as he moved John's ankle checking his flexibility. "John?"

"Oh um, just drills, not even with full pads."

"Did you fall at any point?"

"No," John answered, focusing on his heartbeat, racing for an unknown reason.

"Okay," Randy said releasing his foot. "There's no swelling and while you've got pain, it's nothing that concerns me."

* * *

 _Afterward_

"What do you think you're playing at?" Cody snapped at Randy.

Randy filled out an incident form for John as per procedure. Even a minor injury warranted noting in case it got worse.

"What do you mean Cody?" Randy said rolling his eyes as he headed toward his small office.

"What I mean is that you undermined me with that idiot boy," he snapped louder. "How dare you. How dare you bring a student back in and re-examine him."

"John?!" he said confused. "You'd seen him? I caught him limping out the building, he's liable to ignore it in case he doesn't get to play in the next match."

"A sprain doesn't need a proper examination. He wanted his Coach to know he followed the rules," Cody said.

"Did you tell him that?" Randy asked hoping it wasn't true.

"I told him to rest it," Cody said.

"Did you suggest getting it strapped for his next game?"

"He doesn't need it strapped, he needs to grow a set."

"Wow, you have so much compassion. Remind me if I get injured, not to rely on your diagnosis," Randy said getting up and pushing passed Cody. He needed to keep calm and get out of there.

"Oh please, don't be so dramatic. You're always doing that," Cody spat. "You should get laid. Make you relax."

"What the-"

"That's it," Cody said with a smile across his face. "You are so concerned because you want to get in his pants."

"You are talking nonsense. I-"

"You realise that with the last complaint you're risking your job. Is he worth it?"

"What are you talking-" Randy asked acting oblivious.

"Your dalliance with a cheerleader," Cody said sneering at him.

"That complaint wasn't even realistic. I pissed her off by crushing her fantasies when she found out I'm gay."

"Yeah, but the school may think again if they found out you're involved with another student."

"We are not involved," Randy snapped louder than he planned. He turned back to Cody and lowered his voice. "You don't know me. You don't know my history. Do not presume that you can make allegations and get away with it."

* * *

 _That night_

"You've changed since last time," Torrie called over the loud music.

"How do you mean?" John asked as they danced together, Torrie pushing her ass back into John.

"You weren't sociable last time," she explained. "You didn't speak."

"I didn't have a good night. I didn't want to go out, but everyone told me I should."

John held her hips as she danced against him. They'd been on and off the dance floor since they arrived at the bar and she hadn't tried making much conversation, at least until now.

"By everyone you mean Chris?"

"Chris, couple of my teammates, a trainer," he said. As he spoke he got a flash of Randy in his mind along with Cody's words.

"A member of staff said to go out on the lash?"

"He came to watch the game, I bumped into him on my way back to the dorms."

He thought on his conversation with Randy that night. John figured he'd had a drink on his night off, but had he been flirting with him?

John didn't want to think on it or how he kept getting confusing thoughts since arriving at college. First the dance and now the idea that there may be an attraction between he and Randy. It confused him; in one way he struggled to accept that Randy liked guys; girls throw themselves at him with his chiselled jaw, and his physique looked to be good; not that John could comment on his body. But then, just because he'd get any girl didn't mean Randy wanted any girl. He may want another guy. Even with Randy being gay the same theory applied, just any guy he wanted. Which scared him, if Randy chose to 'have' John, does that mean he'd keep trying until he got what he wanted?

"John... John," Torrie called snapping him out of his stops. "You zoned out."

Amused and confused in the same glance, John hated himself for not focusing on her. What had gotten into him? He'd never bothered with dating, and he still wasn't. He didn't want to lead Torrie on but he wanted to switch off from Randy.

"Sorry," he mumbled before turning on the spot and walking off the dance floor. He went over to the table where Chris and Barbie were making out. He slapped Chris on the back of the head to get his attention. "I'm heading back."

"It's early," Chris stated checking the time.

"I have practice tomorrow," John said. He grabbed his jacket and headed to the door.

* * *

 _Two days later_

"Cena, you need that ankle strapped?" the Coach hollered at him.

"Yes Coach," John called back.

"Then get your butt into the trainer's room while Randy's free."

John gulped at the thought of seeing Randy. How he might react around him? He didn't have a choice though. He needed his ankle strapped, and the Coach sent him into Randy. There were two guys working that day, Randy and Cody.

He walked through to the trainer's room and tried not to react when his ankle caught as he put weight on it. It had improved but the sooner they strapped it, the better his chances for the match and finishing the game.

Randy spotted him heading his way and pulled out the supplies he needed for strapping an ankle.

"On the table please John," Randy said smiling at him.

"It's better," John said as way of a greeting. He didn't want to get involved in conversation for fear of leading Randy to the wrong conclusion. If he's gay and had an interest in John then he didn't want to be accused of giving the wrong signals.

"Then why did you react when you put weight on it a second ago?" Randy challenged. "Don't try hiding things."

"I wasn't, it hitched," John said trying to be honest.

Randy said nothing, just scolded him with his eyes as he lifted John's foot and pulled off his sock.  
He remained silent as he worked, securing pads in place to stop blisters and then using the pre-tape to strap the ankle.

Randy glanced over to Cody and John reddened in embarrassment. He wondered if he should say something but how did he admit that he overheard their conversation.

"Nervous?" Randy asked.

"Hm?"

"You're quiet today, are you nervous?" Randy repeated.

"No, well yeah, I guess. I'm on the starting line-up for the match," John said unable to stop the smile from spreading.

"Coach showed me the list," Randy said returning the smile. "Be careful with your ankle though. No trying to be a hero and play through the pain. You can do yourself further damage if you do."

"No heroics, I promise," he said, a shiver going up his spine as Randy lifted his leg.

"Good," Randy said smiling and looking at him for a second longer than John thought necessary, though it didn't bother him.

"You need a hand Randy?" Cody asked coming up to the pair and interrupting the moment.

Randy's shoulder slumped and Coach realised how hard he tried not to lose his temper though his annoyance showed.

"It doesn't take two people to strap an ankle," Randy said looking up from his seat with a deathly glare at Cody. He glanced at the doorway as he spoke. "Besides you have another athlete waiting."

John kept quiet since they didn't know he knew of the conversation.

"Arrogant asshole," Randy muttered causing John to snigger at the comment. "What?"

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get on with him."

The pair relaxed and laughed at the comment, Randy telling him to keep it to himself. He finished taping and helped John onto his feet. John realised that if Randy liked him or not, he'd never molest him.

Randy's earlier comments and actions made sense now and John accepted it. Randy is gay. No problem. He considered him a friend, they got along and Randy gave him real advice, instead of the official stuff you got from educational staff. Though he gave that.

"Good luck in the match," Randy said. "And please take care of your ankle. If it hurts, tell the Coach. And you can get ice after the match."

"Will do. Thanks Randy."

* * *

 _One week later_

"Why are we coming here and not using the gym on campus?" John asked as he got out of Randy's car. As soon as he opened his mouth, he wished head kept quiet. Randy risked being seen with John.

"Because the Coach will kick my ass if he finds out I let you train after a game," Randy said. "Truth is, I agree with him. You've just done an hour and a half on the field, you shouldn't be spending time in the gym after a game."

Randy used his card to gain entry to the gym while John signed in and paid a onetime fee.

"You were the one who suggested this time," John shrugged as Randy led him to the locker room. "Besides, I told you before, I've been working out for years, this won't be strenuous."

"You can be smug John," Randy said joking. "And you haven't worked out one on one with me."

John became lost for words, wondering what Randy meant by the statement. He shook it off realising that he meant an actual work out in the gym. He remembered Randy's offer and when he booked with Randy, his schedule had one slot available which fit with John's.

John put his bag on the bench and pulled out his work out shirt. As he changed he looked toward Randy watching the muscles rippling in his back, not to mention the tattoo across the back of his shoulders. When you met Randy, the first thing you spotted were his tattoo sleeves. As you looked closer, you saw the top of a design poking out from his shirts, but John never guessed it was a large piece.

When Randy pulled on his shirt and turned around, John shook himself back into reality and changed shirt, throwing his bag into a locker.

"Ready?" Randy asked when John tightened the key around his wrist.

"Yeah."

Randy led him along the corridor into the main room, "Okay, bench press is free so we'll hit that first."

"Okay, are we working on strength or stamina?"

"I'd planned strength training, you do enough stamina during team training," Randy said. "We'll finish with speed work."

"Where?" John asked confused, he did his speed work on the field at college.

"It's called a treadmill John, not everyone has access to the facilities you do at the college."

"Oh, right. What weights?" he asked hoping to re change the focus away from himself.

"Start at 100."

"Randy I press double that," John claimed in disbelief.

"Who's the trainer here?"

"Okay, 100," John said shaking his head.

Once they'd secured the weights onto the barbell, Randy instructed John to get on the bench.

"I want three sets of five-"

"At this weight? That's easy," John said taking a grip on the bar and lifting it up ready to bring lower to his chest.

"Whoa! First off, stop being a cocky asshole. You can lift, fact. I'm not looking for proof," Randy scolded him, taking the bar from him with hand and putting it back on the rack. "Second, if you don't listen, I'm walking. You wanted to train with me, I've got better things to be doing with my weekend."

"Sorry," John said.

"Bring your grip in," Randy instructed. John took hold of the bar, closer this time. "Have you ever done close grip bench?"

"Um, no."

"Okay, your grip needs to be in the centre of the bar," Randy stated taking John's hands and bringing them into the centre of the bar. "Shoulder width apart."

John nodded as Randy explained to keep his arms near his torso as he brought the bar to his chest and to go slow on his first repetitions. On the first one, Randy kept his hands by the bar. When John exhaled and pushed the weights back up the balance wobbled a tad and Randy steadied the barbell.

"Don't speed up when you exhale; keep it slow and you'll keep the control," Randy instructed.

John repeated the exercise and Randy stayed near again in case he needed support. John altered his technique, appeasing Randy. After John completed five reps, Randy took the bar from him and placed it back on the hooks.

"Good, sit up while I up the weights."

"Why can't I lift as much on this exercise?"

"It's a different muscle set. Standard bench will work your triceps. This grip, causes you to work your chest muscles. You need to work on these and your arms to keep your body in proportion," Randy explained while he added another ten pounds to the bar. "Okay, I want another five. Remember your breathing helps keep the control. Its ten pounds but you'll notice."

As Randy had stated, he noticed the extra weight when he pushed back up and he didn't find the training as easy as he expected. When they moved to the third set, Randy kept John working at the same weight and advised to start at the same weight the next time he worked out.

They moved on to pull-ups and John cursed Randy. Even though he did them, John hated pull-ups. Every work out session he included pull-ups, and he found them boring. Randy just laughed at him as he wasted energy complaining instead of focusing on the exercise.

On the last set, John slowed from exhaustion and his grip faltered as he lowered. Randy caught him around the waist from behind to make sure he didn't hit the ground.

"You okay?" Randy asked as he helped John gain his balance.

"Yeah, just lost my grip."

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay; in that case, get back on there and give me three more," Randy said smirking.

John smirked back and jumped back and belted out three pull-ups. Afterward he jumped off and shot Randy a look as to say give him something hard.

Randy laughed with him and took him on through the workout, having him do the seated row, tricep extensions and bicep curls. John completed them with no problems, but Randy pointed out a few things for him to improve in his technique. When Randy took him over to a treadmill and told him to do interval training, John complained.

"Get used to it, when you hit the off season, they'll be running you through similar drills but you'll be on the field. And it's important. You need to keep your tempo up throughout and this will help you with that," he explained pointing at the treadmill.

John got on the treadmill and Randy switched it on and let him walk as he explained what he planned. He upped the speed and adjusted it to a slight incline.

When John hit one hundred metres, he reduced the speed and incline back to base level and let him jog for a further one hundred metres.

"Right, let's do that another seven times and check how good your breathing is," Randy said as he increased the speed.

John, exhausted from the running, tried to catch his breath as Randy finished the workout. John got his breathing under control and he stood up straight and caught an evil smirk on Randy's face as the older man laughed at him.

"I hate you," John said still sounding breathless.

"Hey, you wanted a training session," Randy said laughing at the young man. "Come on, sessions finished. Time to go home and recover for next time."

"Yeah okay," John said grabbing his bottle of water and following Randy out of the main room to the stretching mats. "Wait; what next time?"

* * *

 **A/N: Hopefully you enjoyed. Please review :)**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay this is a really short chapter just to tie you over. I'm sorry I haven't posted but my dog passed away a week ago and I haven't felt like writing**

* * *

John poured over his essay checking for errors. The unit was due in the next day and he had to finish the work so his portfolio was complete.

He was confident in his English skills but he fretted over the editing of his work when the instructor piece-meals the various elements needed to consider when editing.

He wondered if this was how a lecturer worked as he sat marking the paper with a red pen, correcting his grammar and still picking up spelling errors. When he reached the end of the page he picked up his mug and went to drink finding the cup empty. He grabbed his wallet and headed over to the counter for a refill.

"It's complimentary," the barista said, with a flirty smile. John thanked her though he was uncomfortable with her flirting. He smiled back, but it wasn't his usual smile.

The bell rang on the door and his smile grew in size when he saw who walked into the coffee shop.

"Hey Randy," John said seeing the surprise on Randy's face.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Randy asked.

"I needed to get off campus this weekend. I was going crazy with the same scenery every day this week. Brought my work over here to study."

"Understandable. I can recall how those dorms are from my time in them. Consider yourself lucky. They've renovated since then."

"You're making yourself sound old," John teased. "Back in my day luxuries such as television and electricity weren't around. We had to study by candlelight."

"How the fuck old do I seam?" Randy challenged at John's teasing. "Do I appear that old?"

John laughed at Randy's vainness. He hadn't considered him vain but recollecting he was always presentable and kept himself in good shape.

"What are you completing?" Randy asked though trying to check for wrinkles in a reflective glass panel.

"College Writing; my second unit is due tomorrow. It's copy-editing," John said pulling a face. "It's boring, we understand this stuff and they're drilling it into us like it's a new concept and we didn't speak since we were kids."

"John, it's not your ability to speak English, you'd still be in high school if you didn't achieve a high level. It's teaching you how to write essays and check your work, hence the copy-editing section," Randy said. "Trust me, it'll help you over the next few years."

"Did you take the course?"

"Yeah, but the course has developed since I had to sit the class," Randy shrugged.

"Fancy checking it. I can't read it again," John said taking his drink over to his table.

"I wasn't planning on staying, John. Besides it's as much my weekend as yours," Randy scolded him.

"I'll buy you lunch," John said brightening.

"Oh, well, that makes it different," Randy scoffed as he took his jacket off and grabbed John's paper. "John your writing is atrocious."

"What do you want to eat?"

"The Chicken Caesar Salad, and one of those vanilla petite scone things," Randy requested.

"Sure you don't want some pancakes as well?" John asked.

"No, but iced coffee is great," Randy said focusing on the document.

A few minutes later, John came back with the salad, coffee and a plate of three petite scones.

"You're an expensive date Randy Orton," John said as Randy stabbed his fork into a piece of chicken.

"This isn't a date," Randy rebuffed. "You'd realise it if it were."

"Yeah, how's that?"

"Tell-tale sign, there'd be no working," Randy said shooting him a pissed off but relaxed gaze.

"Is that the main difference?"

"Do you want to hear how it'd go if you were on a date with me?"

"Why not," John gulped. "I'll save it away for future reference."

"Right; I start by picking my date up, drive them to the restaurant. I'd ask for a romantic, secluded spot near the back to save those annoying interruptions," he said running his finger around the edge of his glass. "Let them choose whatever they wish from the menu and then order the most expensive bottle of wine the establishment has. Then, when it arrives, I'd make a point of pouring it myself. Then after we've had the main, if we hit it off, I'd suggest a dessert, maybe feed them a piece if I want things to go further."

"What happens after the food?" John asked adjusting his pants, desperate to find out how Randy takes things to the next stage.

Randy held his gaze and John contemplated telling him, but in an instant, the professional in Randy kicked in and he focused on the paper.

"That's a story for another time, and a different location," he said trying to smile at John having overstepped the mark.

 **A/N: Quick flirty scene for you. Hope you enjoyed :) Don't forget to review, for all the messages and reviews I requested for this story, no one is reviewing :(**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: To make up for the short chapter a couple days ago. Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

"This is becoming a regular occurrence."

"Well, if you get coffee from one place alone," John joked. "Is this on your way home or something?"

"No. I live in the opposite direction," Randy clarified. "What's your excuse? There is a coffee shop on campus."

"Yes, but my roommate is hooking up with his latest girl and if I went to the campus coffee shop I'd be back within ten minutes," John said. "He needs a longer length of time than that."

"Sounds as though he's a stallion," Randy joked. "I'll get it."

"Get what?"

"Your coffee, I owe you from last month," Randy said handing over his money and requesting a cappuccino for himself.

"Thanks," John said smiling at him as he remembered their earlier conversation. "I should be going. Too much studying to do."

"Yeah, my paperwork is piling up," Randy said slumping his shoulders. "Unless-"

"What?"

"You want to be rebels and put it off until tomorrow? Or at least later this evening," he said wiggling his eyebrows.

"You hate being an authority figure, don't you?" John scoffed.

"What do you mean?" Randy asked confused.

"Your habit, even though it's not constant, of giving me advice that a member of the faculty shouldn't say."

"Guess I don't want to be in charge guy twenty four hours a day, besides, I'm off the clock now," Randy said. He took his drink from the barista and followed John to the door holding it open for him. "Come on, please, kill time, so I can put off going home by myself and completing paperwork."

John couldn't stay serious any longer and burst into laughter at Randy's behaviour, "Fine, where are we going?"

"There's a park ten minutes from here," Randy pointed along the road. "We could head there, walk around, head back here, and I'll be nice and drop you back to the dorms on the way home."

John looked at him, he realised this was a ritual for Randy, since he had it planned out. Well, the walking bit. John couldn't imagine that Randy flirted with students. Not that he was now. Not that John should be so relaxed either.

Randy led the way and John followed, losing his tongue, unable to make conversation with Randy. John had always felt relaxed around Randy, and as of late, when they had seen each other away from College, the older man had relaxed. Too relaxed because he'd catch himself and turn back to being a staff member and not a friend.

"So, big game coming up this weekend," Randy said glancing over at John.

"Um, yeah, everything's on the line. If we win, we head to the playoffs," John said.

"Nervous?"

"I'm struggling to focus on my studying," he nodded. "Chris' message couldn't have come at a better time; telling me not to head to the dorm."

"What happened to putting a coat hanger on the door?"

"It's been ties for ages, not coat hangers, are you from the dark ages?" John joked.

"I got news for you, I got caught many times because I rebelled and didn't but a hanger, or tie, on the door," Randy said.

"You forgot didn't you?"

"And I didn't get a single reply to my phone calls. I guess they didn't appreciate being caught in bed," Randy chuckled. "Not even in bed sometimes."

"You are disgusting," John pointed out.

"No, I enjoy sex, and I had the added help of being a couple years older than most of the freshman so they liked getting with the older guy," Randy hinted.

John could understand the idea behind it. Why not be with someone older when you're not very experienced, or sometimes, not experienced? It guarantees it will be better than everyone else on offer. Randy's a handsome guy; John could picture him younger and being cocky.

"It's at the end of that road," Randy said pointing with one hand and placing his other on the small of John's back.

Electricity shot through him as Randy kept his hand there as they crossed the road. John tried not to let his body react any further as shivers ran up his spine. Damn it, he shouldn't be reacting this way to another bloke and he didn't understand why he did.

"So, John Cena, when the football season is over, how do you plan on spending your free time?"

"My schedule will be much the same, practice, class, study, try to find a social life in amongst that," he said chuckling. Intrigued why Randy wanted to know, not that he'd hold back information.

"Expand on our social life, because I'm not sure heading to the local Starbucks is a social life," Randy joked.

"Chris and I head to a nearby bar, when there's no football," he shrugged.

"Wow, let's stop this whirligig of fun before you get carried away," Randy said. "You realise you're in College right? You're supposed to be getting slaughtered every weekend and hooking up with girls every chance you get."

"Did you?"

"Somewhat. I got my work done, and I got the grades I wanted, but when I finished my work, I had fun," Randy said.

"No doubt you were hooking up with-"

"I had a few partners over the years," Randy shrugged interrupting John's comment. "I'm not ashamed of it. Why not when you're young and don't want to settle yet. Besides I had to play catch up from high school."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't start until after I left high school," he explained.

As they neared a bench in the park, Randy took a seat and John sat with him.

"Why are you so worried what I do with my life?" John asked; noting how Randy had tried to challenge him on aspects of his life before and John still didn't understand the interest.

"Because you're a sweet kid who I'm sure will do great stuff with his life, but I worry you will end up regretting your decisions later in life when you realise you allowed no time to live."

"I'm not a kid, Randy," John snapped. "I looked after myself for years. Learnt to stand up for myself. I lift weights because I got bullied at high school, the size I gained meant that they left me alone."

"Did you get bullied at home?" Randy asked.

"No."

"Maybe not, but you want to prove yourself, make a name for yourself, but you don't want the fame, those ideals are conflicting," Randy intimated.

"It isn't because I want to make a name for myself, I want to be noticed, and, yes, I mean by my parents," John explained, regretting that he had even entered this conversation. "I guess it's a downside of being part of a large family. I'm the second of five boys and somewhere in the mix, I got overlooked."

"What do you mean?"

"Everything I'm good at, my older brother did it first, nothing new to my parents," he shrugged. "I idolise my brother, still do, but with my parent's focus on my younger brothers, it's difficult for them to find time with five of us. I'm independent and found guidance elsewhere, so I guess it never bothered me."

"But it does now?"

"Yeah. My brother decided not to go to College, he got a job and is on the management track," John smiled. "I wanted to come to College, and I secured a scholarship to come here."

"How did they react?"

"I got a handshake, and a well done, from my dad and my mom became silent; I'm still not sure what that meant," John shrugged. "My brother celebrated with me, psyched for me, he can't wait until I graduate and I'm the one with the degree in the family."

Randy chuckled at the comment and John pictured Randy getting on well with his brother.

"Why did you go to College?"

"Because I fucked up my first career choice," Randy said laughing again. "My mom supported me no matter what I did, but even she got pissed off with me when she heard what happened. She got even more pissed off with..."

"With who?"

"My dad, now my dad's another story," Randy said avoiding the question. "My dad said I had to get off my ass and do something with my life. Truth is I'd been considering my options, and I looked into College. I made the wrestling team at high school and enjoyed sports so I looked into the careers in the field. Athletic trainer was a good choice, so I looked into which colleges offered it. This place offered the best programme. I applied to here and a couple other places and got accepted."

"Where are you from?"

"St Louis."

"You moved across half the country to come here?"

"My dad tried to talk me out of going, apologising, when I moved to Massachusetts. I told him it my decision, nothing he'd said, I had considered this place."

"Do you miss them?"

"Every day," Randy said with a sad smile. "I try to call my mom every other day but she's a nurse and our schedules can clash but I keep in touch. If I'm not working in the summer than I head back and stay with them."

"I bet you're ready to leave by the end of the six weeks," John joked, he'd heard enough stories to know moving back in with the parents was not a choice he wanted to be faced with.

"God, yes, nothing better than your own space, if not your own bed," Randy laughed with John. "Come on, we should get back before your roomie and his girl get in the flow."

"Don't talk crazy, he couldn't keep me out of my room, could he?"

"If his sexual appetite is akin to mine," Randy said laughing.

* * *

 _The next night_

"Well, I guess plans changed for the evening," Randy said as he parked his car in the campus lot.

"Still good though," John said. "Not going to admit to seeing it, but I enjoyed it."

"I thought a horror was showing."

"Horror isn't good for me," John admitted. "I'd be watching through my fingers."

"Maybe we should head back when there's a new one out, I want to see you go girlie," Randy teased.

"Fuck off, I'm not a girl," John said. "I didn't cry at that stupid movie you picked did I?"

"I thought you said you enjoyed it?" Randy said with a smile.

"Same time next week?" John asked shaking his head at Randy's behaviour.

"I'm in, there's a werewolf movie out which should be good."

"Can't be worse than being made to watch Theory of Everything, it's something you take a girlfriend to because she wants to watch those types of films. Two guys aren't supposed to be going to watch it."

"So I won't be getting a good night kiss?" Randy asked with a smile.

John sat shocked at the comment, Randy had never been this open over his sexuality and while he could still joke around, John knew Randy didn't hide his preferences.

"Um, I... I should," John muttered opening the door.

As he went to get out Randy's hand shot out and stopped him from leaving. Neither spoke but he could tell what Randy thought. His eyes focused on John's lips with his imagined thoughts obvious in his eyes.

The older man refocused on John, meeting his eyes. John hoped he didn't look as scared as his heart told him. Not sure if it were fear he felt. His heart raced, his stomach flipped and his lips dried out as he considered his reaction if Randy kissed him.

Randy made no move to close the gap between them and John wondered if he should get it take action and kiss Randy, a quick kiss good night, on the cheek, no, the lips, he'd be resembling a girl if he kissed Randy's cheek. Did Randy want that? Did he appreciate a more feminine man? Or did Randy want a man of action, someone to meet him halfway in a kiss? Isn't that what's supposed to happen?

"You should go," Randy said interrupting his thoughts. "You need to study."

"Night," John said making his escape out of the car and across the parking lot. He raced into the building and hid in the laundrette, collapsing onto a bench and holding his head in his hands. "What the hell is going on with me?"

* * *

 _Two nights later (last game of the season)_

Randy breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the crowd roar as the College football team hit the field for the second half. This is it, the last game of season and everything rested on the second half. Losing by fourteen points, they needed to get them back and quick. If the team won, they went through to the playoff; if they lost, they had a long period of training waiting for the next season.

For the seniors on the team, he hoped they won. For John, he hoped they won. He tried not to imagine John's reaction if the team lost. He had put everything into his football, without his academic work suffering, and he wanted to see them pull this off, for John.

The last couple of days had been the longest he'd experienced in forever. His mind never left the moment in his car when he saw the truth of the moment, John wanted to kiss him. He'd been battling with himself over whether to kiss John and when he met his eyes, John was in the same predicament.

In that moment alone, Randy could tell John wanted it, but John didn't realise it yet, or possibly, if he did, he didn't understand why he wanted to kiss him. Randy had been there himself as a teenager, only he had been younger, realising his sexuality during high school. His first relationship didn't happen until after school and he made it into the Marines, but Randy didn't want to remember that period. He'd been hurt and trusted no one for a while afterward.

Randy took his jacket from his office and went out to the field. If he had to work, he at least got to watch the match. If an accident happened, he could be on hand to support the doctor. As a trainer they didn't need you to come along on the away games but if they asked, he never said no.

It was awkward on the bus, John sitting on the opposite row and not even acknowledging him. Randy didn't expect their typical drawn out conversation, but it's nice to receive an acknowledgment.

He chastised himself when he remembered that it had been two days since their near-kiss.

"Hey, Orton, right?" a man dressed in white and blue asked holding his hand out to shake.

"Randy, yeah, you the trainer?"

"That's me, thanks for your help today. When I got the call to say my colleague's ill I figured it's easier to call in the help from the other team," the man said.

"No problem, it's what I'm paid for," Randy shrugged.

"Are you guys staying over tonight or heading back after the match?"

"I didn't even ask," Randy chuckled. "When I got the call I drove over to the College and grabbed my gear before getting on the bus."

"Well, if you are staying in town, we could get a drink. There's a couple of good bars in town," he suggested with something else with his eyes.

"Well, give me your number; that way I can call you if we are staying; or even if I head out this way one weekend," Randy added. He needed to forget John, a relationship was impossible, John's a student. Randy should never even entertain that they could be a couple. A night of fun with someone his own age might help him move on from John. Not to mention it had been months since he'd even met anyone he liked in that way. It had to be a sign.

"We could slip ba-"

"Randy," a holler from the side-lines interrupted the opposing team's trainer and Randy turned his head to see the doctor on the field with a player on the ground holding his shoulder.

"Hold that thought," Randy said running over to the doctor.

As he got closer, he could see the player writhing on the ground and after he saw the number on the shirt, 54, John.

"Okay, John, we'll get you on a stretcher and get you inside to check your shoulder, okay?" The doctor asked as Randy reached his side.

"Guys back up okay," Randy said to the other players as they gathered around their teammate.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"He's in pain, he'll be out of the rest of the match at least," Randy stated. Whatever the injury, the doctor's face told him it was a long journey back to full health. Alongside that, John had turned white and wasn't talking to the doctor.

"Randy help me roll him on his side," the doc requested as the stretcher arrived to take John off the field. "On three. One, two, three."

Randy rolled John toward him as they slid the stretcher underneath and then lowered him to the apparatus, Randy helped the doctor strap him onto the board and carry him off the pitch.

As they passed the other team's trainer, the man offered his services and Randy declined, his guilt overtaking him for even considering going out for drinks with the man. As wrong as he knew it to be, he had an interest in John and it getting involved with another man just complicated matters.

They carried John through to the treatment room and Randy helped remove the straps and move John onto the treatment bench. He stepped back and let the doctor work, stopping himself from badgering the doctor with annoying questions that couldn't be answered as though he were an anxious partner.

John explained where the pain was and Randy's concern grew with the information he heard and the doctors follow up questions. Listening to everything being said Randy guessed something had torn which meant surgery and months of physical therapy afterward. He did the math in his head and in his professional opinion John was going to miss spring training, not to mention the football camps the following summer.

The doctor thanked John for the information and turned to Randy and nodded for him to follow him out the room.

"You surmised we're looking at a torn muscle," the doctor commented after the door closed. Randy nodded in response. "I'll get on the phone and arrange for an MRI, get a clearer picture of what we're looking at."

"Okay," Randy acknowledged looking through the glass pane at John. His heart broke when he saw the tears streaming from his eyes.

"Make sure he doesn't try using his arm," the doctor instructed.

"Can I help?" the College's trainer asked who had entered the treatment room to get things ready for after the match.

"I need to arrange an MRI, are you be able to get me in contact with the local hospital?"

"I'll check on John," Randy said leaving them to sort out the next steps. He opened the door and went over to John's side, pulling over a stall.

"What's going on?" John asked scrubbing his face dry with his good arm, he still winced in pain.

"Try not to move too much," Randy said. "The doc's getting hold of the hospital so we can do an MRI, see any damage to the muscles."

"At least it's the last game of the season, it'll give me a chance to get ready for next year," John sobbed, trying to see the positive.

"Let's see what the MRI says first, check for any damage," Randy said holding back the truth of the matter.

* * *

 _At the hospital_

"Why is this taking so long?" John complained as Randy sat in the comfy seat beside his bed keeping him comfy.

"You can tell those painkillers have kicked in," Randy said without looking up from the magazine.

"Thanks for your support," John bit back.

"Listen, it will take as long as it needs to," Randy said. "You aren't the only patient in the hospital."

John stared daggers at Randy for his levelheadedness; right now he wanted to be miserable and complain. His arm and chest hurt, even with painkillers, the excruciating pain became bearable at best. He'd been here for four hours and the team's doctor tried to push it through since they had gone to the local town's hospital and not their usual facilities.

John realised the seriousness of his injury and he now needed to wait to find out to what extent. He still prayed for a quick and easy recovery to get him back to practice as soon as possible.

Randy had left his side once since they got to the hospital and John tried to find out if he wanted to be there for support, or because the College expected its student to be supervised.

He went to ask him again when the curtain went back enough to allow the team's physician to show his face and ask for Randy to come out. They left him alone with his thoughts and John came considered calling out for Randy to come back. He didn't want to let his thoughts travel too much, it meant they left him with the undeniable truth. He had a serious injury.

"John?" Randy asked snapping him out of his thoughts. He blinked away the tears which gathered and turned his head toward Randy who looked more serious than he'd ever known, as he held the results from the scan. "The doc thought it best if I show you the results. He'll come back to go over questions which arise."

"How long will I be out?"

"You ever seen an MRI scan?"

"Randy, please," John begged.

"The pectoralis major tendon has torn away from the bone," Randy repeated.

"So, a long time," John said letting the tears flow.

"As injuries go, its grim," Randy said perching on the bottom of John's bed and placing a soothing hand against his covered ankle.

"How does it get fixed?"

"Surgery," Randy stated. "The sooner the better. You'll need extensive physical therapy afterward."

"How long will the recovery take?"

"It depends on various factors," Randy said not making eye contact with John.

"How long," John said through gritted teeth.

"If the surgery goes to plan and there's no complications, you're looking at three months of rehab to get your range of motion back."

"That's doable," John nodded. "I could be ready-"

"No, John, I'm sorry, but that's your range of motion. To get the strength back and continue to play football, or lift weights as you do, you'll be looking at another month or more, and it's likely to be more," Randy stated.

"Will I stay here?"

"That's up to you," Randy admitted. "The hospital insists that the doctor here is the best in Massachusetts, but you need to decide."

"Can they do it near the College?"

"The procedure can be done by any orthopaedic surgeon," Randy explained. "You needn't decide now; The College is getting in contact with your parents, you can discuss it with them."

"You called my parents?" John asked pissed off and shocked.

"John, you had a serious injury in a football match and need surgery," Randy stated raising his voice. "The College has to inform your parents. And we informed your roommate since you won't be going back tonight."

"Whatever," John sneered.

Randy got frustrated at the insolence John gave him and John liked that he did, Randy shouldn't have allowed the College to contact his parents and tell them he'd failed. Randy understood his home life and he still let it happen.

Randy went to say something to him but instead turned around and whipped the curtain back and stepped out, turning around once more and coming back.

"God, John, I thought you to be different, that you're mature for a guy of your age. That you could take part in a grown up conversation but I still enjoyed hanging out with," he snapped. "You had your head on straight and what you wanted in life, even if something different than most of your teammates goals, was achievable. You even tried to stay positive knowing that this injury is a huge set back."

"What's your point?" John snapped back at him.

"You made me throw my impression of you out the window by having a hissy fit because someone called mommy and daddy," Randy said trying to reign in his frustration.

"I'm not allowed to be annoyed that someone interfered," John stated.

"They didn't interfere, they cared enough to tell your family you got hurt and might need their support," Randy snapped. "If nothing else, they did their jobs."

"And that's the truth of it," John said laughing. "Whoever made that phone call didn't care, I'm a name on a piece of paper. They made a call to cover their backs."

"Have I ever acted as someone who considers you a name on a piece of paper? I sat with you for the entire afternoon and evening," Randy said before turning to head back out the cubicle again. "I tried to do the right thing."

* * *

 _Two days later_

Why did he want to put himself through this? John may have calmed, but he'd still be dazed from the drugs pumped into his body for the surgery. But he needed to see him. He wanted to check John was okay after the procedure knowing John may struggle in the aftermath.

Even if John didn't appreciate the gesture, Randy had done the right thing by calling John's parents. He needed someone with him for the next couple of days.

He went to the desk on the ward to ask for directions and knocked on the door to John's room, entering before waiting for a reply.

"Hi," he said looking around the room as he entered. "I wanted to see how the surgery went."

"Fine," John said without expanding on his comment.

"Good. Has the doctor been by to see you yet?"

"Yeah."

"Did everything go-"

"Why are you here?" John asked interrupting.

"I wanted to see you, you had your surgery and -"

"I'm aware of that, thanks," John said as he rolled his eyes.

At least the drugs had worn off and John wits were working. Randy tried a different tactic and asked where his parents were causing John to burst into a maniacal laugh.

"My parents decided that since everything went okay with my surgery, they should get back to the other kids," John said shaking his head before tilting his head back against his pillow and closing his eyes. "I guess nothing changes."

"They'll be back, I'm sure of it, they want to check on your siblings and they'll be back," Randy said. "They thought you'd want to sleep."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," John muttered turning his head away from Randy.

Randy reached his hand out and placed it on John's trying to reassure him, but he regretted it when John tensed.

"Will you quit it? Quit trying to protect me. I never asked you to," John snapped pulling his hand free. "I'm not gay, Randy. Please stop trying to be my boyfriend. I'm not interested in you."

Randy sat there for a moment letting the words sink in not knowing what to say.

"That's not why I... I came by..." he said trying to find the right thing to say. "I'm sorry."

He got up and left the room without saying another word. He'd made the wrong decision in going to see John. Instead of cheering him up, it upset him; both of them.

He got in the elevator and went to the parking lot. As he made his way along, he saw someone perched on the hood of his car. When he got close enough he realised who stood there and cursed under his breath.

"Ah, did Randy get his feelings hurt?" Cody asked in a mocking voice.

"Get off my car, Cody," Randy said agitated.

"What's it worth?"

"Blackmail, great," he mumbled to himself as he unlocked the car and got in ignoring Cody. He started the ignition and revved the engine. The benign threat worked and Cody got up from the hood stepping aside.

"Remember, I'm aware of this, Randy," Cody called as he pulled out of the parking space.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Please review :)**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, I know you don't like shorter chapters but sometimes I just don't have time to right longer ones. Even if you don't like the length here's the next chapter :/**

* * *

John punched his pillow for the umpteenth time that night, cursing how he lay in his bed not sleeping. He checked the time before lying back, 4:33am, far too early to get up, but, if he got to sleep, the chances were he'd be late for class.

If able to train he eagerly get up and having a shower but even that's a task and a half with his injury. With no choice but to let them operate, the tendon having pulled off the bone and the doctor insisting that John attend to it. He wished he'd understood the impact of the surgery on his day-to-day life for the first month.

When he returned home for Thanksgiving he even requested someone cut his food for him, which his younger brothers found hilarious. Steve, sympathetic of his state, remained supportive the whole time and asked if he needed help to make life easier when the new college term started. John joked a suggestion of trading lives for a while, but Steve promised him the adage of the grass being greener wasn't true.

Chris was just as supportive before and after the holiday break but John didn't think it fair to expect so much of him. In a short while he was due back to the hospital for his check-up visit and expected to be referred for Physical Therapy, hoping the start of his treatment may ease his frustrations.

Since the surgery his concentration levels dwindled and his school work suffered. His instructors gave him deadline extensions and supported him but alongside their support they hinted an expectation to catch up over the break. Yet another reason his Thanksgiving break wasn't enjoyable. He realised too late that he could have been more productive staying at college and eating mush between typing essays. He counted himself lucky he wrote with his left hand but with no mobility in his right arm to even hold the paper still it was just as challenging. Even essays took twice as long when he was typing on the computer since he could only use one hand.

Steve offered to transcribe for him but John felt too guilty to ask.

He looked over at the clock again, 4:47.

Giving up on sleep, he slung his sheets back, took a few moments to pull his dressing gown on without calling out in pain and waking Chris, grabbed a book and headed out the room. He tiptoed along the corridor and made his way downstairs to the common room where he sat and continued reading the latest chapter of his Biology textbook. At least he could be productive if he was awake so early.

As he read the first few lines, then read them again, struggling to keep his interest the third time, he slammed the book shut and threw it on the floor. He sat questioning his ability and whether he was better off admitting defeat and quitting school. His parents didn't understand his need to go to college in the first instance, so if he went home and got a job it didn't matter. Once his arm was medically cleared there was the option to reapply in a later year, and hopefully he was able to get on the football team again.

Rubbing his eyes, he sighed knowing he didn't believe in giving up on his dreams. Not yet.

* * *

 _Last day of the semester_

"How's your day been?" Cody asked walking into the small office.

"Why do you care?" Randy scoffed at the man.

"Play nice, Randy," Cody said nonchalant. "Otherwise I might let it slip to the boss you're in a relationship with-"

"And he'd know that you are lying because I've never been in a relationship with him," Randy said shoving past Cody on his way out the door into the main treatment room, just to get away from Cody's pathetic effort at getting one over on him. Randy had noticed Cody never tried any of that shit in the main treatment room so Randy started spending more time there than his office. He even took his paperwork home just to avoid Cody's barbs.

He had no relationship with John.

If he did, he considered them friends; that was the case at least until they kissed. Well mentally they did. Hell, they didn't even lean in to press their lips together. Instead they just stared at one another. Randy knew that John wanted them to kiss, as much as Randy wanted to kiss John. Normally, with any other guy, Randy made a move taking things to the next level by placing a hand on the man's thigh, but with John he couldn't. As much as Randy was sure John was having an internal battle over his sexuality, Randy had one regarding the appropriateness of the relationship.

He admitted none of that to Cody but Cody told him he overheard John shouting at him at the hospital.

He messed up, big time. He shouldn't be seeing John outside the college, but one time turned into another and then they went to the movies together. Even worse, not that either planned it that way, they ended up watching a film which he considered more of a chick flick than the biographical drama they watched.

Randy counted away the hours of in the last day of term and until his flight back to St Louis the following day to see his family. He could get away from Cody's insinuations and better still, be far enough away from John to stop picturing them together and move on. He needed to stop resembling a love sick puppy, he was never doing that again.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, it's short, but the next one is longer. Please keep the reviews coming :)**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Another chapter ready. Hope you enjoy :)**

"Okay, do you want to pop your shirt back on," the doctor said after examining John's shoulder. He waited for John to finish buttoning his shirt, which was difficult and time consuming. John's recovery wasn't going well because he still had a minimal mobility in his shoulder.

While he could fend for himself now, he still had no strength in his right arm.

"John I'm sure you're aware of the lack of movement in his shoulder," the doctor said as he looked at John. "It's because there has been no follow up since the surgery. I expected you to book an appointment for a month ago to arrange Physical Therapy sessions."

"Between my exams and the holidays, and your availability," he sighed. "I wasn't able to book an appointment."

"My concern is that this will cause your recovery to be longer than thought," the doctor said. "Without the physical therapy it may mean scar tissue has built up and a second surgery may be required."

"What?" John asked in panic. "I can't; a second surgery is out of the question. I'd have no chance of getting back on the team. I'm on a football scholarship, if I can't play football there's a possibility they'll cut my funding. My parents can't afford to pay my tuition fees."

"Are you able to spare an hour? We'll run another MRI while you're here, the results can be sent to your Physical Therapist and we can go from there," the doctor advised to try to calm him. "John, please don't panic over this; I'm advising you of the possibilities."

"What can I do to get my shoulder improving?" John asked.

"The most important issue is to get your Physical Therapy sessions started," he recommended. "I can refer you to someone at the hospital, or I recommend to you as a student the alternative. There are trained professionals at the college who could complete sessions with you, daily sessions if you wished, around your college schedule."

"You can do that?" John asked liking the idea.

"It may be easier to manage considering your schedule, meeting with a Therapist here at the hospital means you'd end up missing class."

"Let's go with the college; who do I need to speak to?" he asked.

"The Coordinator of Athletic Training Services will book in a schedule that's suitable for you and a member of his staff," the Doctor advised. "I'll print you a referral letter and we'll get you along for that MRI."

"Thanks."

"Remember to inform them I'll forward the results of the MRI in the next week."

"Okay," John said.

* * *

 _Later that evening_

"Hey man," Chris said closing the door and throwing his scarf on his bed. "What did the doc say?"

"Physical Therapy is needed, which they advised when I got injured," John answered looking up from his books. "It's handy that the college can run the sessions."

"What? The students?"

"No, the instructors, they're licenced, so I had a choice."

"You done studying?"

"Nearly, why?" John lied, having started just twenty minutes prior and looking to quit for the evening, the last thing he wanted was to be studying right now when he can get drunk.

"Heading to the bar with Barbie, Torrie's meeting us there," Chris said wiggling his eyebrows trying to set John up, again.

"Torrie's nice, but not who I'm into," John said.

"Yeah, well, sooner or later you will need to tell me what your sort is, because Torrie will not be around forever."

John laughed and closed his book, grabbing his coat off the back of his chair and slipping it on one arm. Chris helped him with the other side of his jacket and John made a mental note to thank him for his support since the injury.

"Do me a favour when we get there," Chris said.

"What?"

"Play nice with Barbie and Torrie; in fact, play extra nice with Torrie so she believes she has a chance," Chris said slapping the back of his head.

"So fake it?"

"Women always do it," Chris said.

"I'd be able to get in here more often if Barbie had to fake it that much," John said opening the door with his good arm.

"Meaning?"

"The two of you are rabbits, no woman fakes it that much for a guy," John laughed.

* * *

 _The next day_

John sat as the Coordinator looked through the diaries to working out John's schedule against a member of his staff.

The college were happy to help him get back to full health if it meant getting him back on the team. It was a matter of finding the schedule that suited him.

John wanted one session a day, but the coordinator didn't think it a sensible idea, he wanted to make sure John could rest between sessions. They agreed on twice a week and booked it in until the end of the year.

"Right, you're booked you in every Tuesday and Thursday for nine a.m.," the coordinator said.

"Do I come in and find you?" John asked.

"You'll be in the private treatment room across the way," the coordinator said. "I'm teaching so Randy will complete the sessions with you."

"Oh."

"Is that okay?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, its fine, I figured it was you," John said trying to hide the gulping noise. He hadn't spoken to or seen Randy since the day of his surgery and he wasn't sure he was ready for that awkward conversation.

* * *

 _The next day_

"Hey, Randy," his boss called at him as he ran the short distance from his classroom to the small office he shared with two colleagues.

"Yeah?" He asked coming to a halt in front of his office. He unlocked the door and reached inside grabbing the folder from his desk where he expected to find it.

"You see your emails this morning?"

"No, not yet," Randy responded intrigued over what happened that he'd needed to read them. "Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Wanted to check with you; the Cena kid, the footballer who got injured at the end of the season," his boss explained. "He's doing his rehab here. I booked him in Tuesdays and Thursdays with you. He's behind schedule for his rehab as well because of the holidays."

"Right, okay," Randy said trying to hide the fear. He'd been getting his life back and forgetting John. Now he was back in the mix. God was laughing, he was sure of it.

Randy made his way back to class and in a daze handed out the assignments. After a moment of gathering his thoughts he went through the work they needed to do and dismissed the class. He struggled to stay standing as he thought of John's reaction when they were together in the same room again the next day.

Not to mention, he was sure Cody was likely to start again when he found out.

* * *

 _The next day_

Randy made sure he was in the therapy room ten minutes early to start on the paperwork.

Tired from the lack of sleep, he considered coming in at five a.m. had he been able to enter the building at that hour. Four hours and three coffees later, Randy was feeling the lack of sleep catching up with him.

He wanted to make this as painless as possible for John making it easier to handle for himself.

He was reviewing John's scans when there was a knock on the door. He turned his head in time to watch John enter; he was going to have a difficult hour. John looked miserable and in pain and the way he was holding his arm, Randy hoped they weren't too late starting the rehab.

"Take a seat," Randy said showing a chair by the desk he had been using.

"How does this work?"

"We will lay out the treatment plan. We need to run mobility tests, so I can tell where we're starting and check progression as the weeks go on," he said trying not to act any different as with any other patient.

"So we're not doing any therapy today?"

"Depends how we get on with the mobility tests," Randy said. "I completed most of the paperwork, the test results need to be entered which will show timelines. If we get that done, we can do therapy, but I don't want to push you too hard too soon."

"Fine," John said avoiding his gaze.

"Your doctor's notes say the surgery went well, but you didn't go back for a check-up," Randy said reading the file in front of him.

"I tried, but I had my exams, not to mention Christmas," John defended himself.

"I wasn't trying to instigate an argument just familiarising myself with your progress to date," Randy said feeling irritated.

"Whatever," John said rolling his eyes. "I'm here now, I want to get on with this."

"Fine, take your shirt off, and get on the table so we can start the tests," Randy said losing his cool. He waited for John to remove his shirt, which was a telling statement of his mobility level. It had been over two months since his surgery. A lot of athletes are on their way to recovery by now. He made a note of it in his file as John pulled himself onto the table.

When he got up and moved over to John he could see the stress in John's shoulders and it wasn't being caused by the injury.

"Listen, this won't work if you don't want to be here," Randy said sighing.

"I wasn't expecting it to be you, I thought when I spoke to your boss he'd be completing these sessions," John said. "He told me it was you after it was booked. Great."

"If you have a problem with doing these sessions with me, you should tell him, he can resched-"

"I tried, he said that you were the only one available with my class schedule."

"So be it," Randy said. "Now stop acting the spoilt teenager because that's not who you are."

"Then don't try getting in my pants," John stated.

"We've been here, what, ten minutes? Nothing's happened so far," Randy stated. "I'm not even sure why you think I want you."

"You're gay, you're always around," John pointed out.

"Doesn't mean I want to get in your pants," Randy lied, finding it easier than he thought possible.

"You don't?" John asked shocked.

Was he disappointed or realising that he'd made a mistake? Randy hoped it was the latter as he lied for a second time, "No."

"Oh."

"Let's get started," Randy said moving to the other side of the table, reigning in his emotions.

* * *

 **A/N: I know they're shorter chapters than people like but it is what it is. Hope you enjoyed :)**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Things start heating up. Hope you enjoy :)**

"Okay, relax, you've done well," Randy assured John as they finished the last of the stretching activities.

"Have I? I still can't lift," John griped.

"The mobility and strength won't come back overnight but improve at a gradual pace. "For instance, you don't take over five minutes to remove your shirt now."

"I guess," John said seeing Randy's point, the sessions were getting easier, but there was still a tremendous pain afterward which took hours to disappear after popping two painkillers.

The atmosphere between the two of them was easing. The more they saw one another, the more it improved and they were making conversation during the sessions.

John missed the conversations they used to have when they got coffee or went to the cinema but he wasn't sure he wanted it to get that comfortable again.

"How's your classes going?"

"Fine, somewhat boring," he admitted. "I've got a semester of courses I have to do for General Ed, but nothing in my chosen field."

"You said you were taking Biology this semester?"

"I am, but it's general, it doesn't relate to Exercise Science," John said. "It's my favourite this semester though. Beats English."

Randy chuckled at the memory of checking John's essay at the coffee shop, "You need to get over that. College Writing is important and will help you over the next few years."

"I'm sure," John turned his nose up at the notion. "Whatever. Besides, I'm just able to use the keyboard for long periods of time. Before that I was handwriting everything, my instructors were always commenting."

"They can be hard asses, but they mean well. When you get out there and get a job then people need to read your writing," Randy said. "The ones that commented on your handwriting were just trying to get you to write neater."

"Well, I'll change my chosen profession and become a doctor, nobody minds their handwriting," John scoffed.

"I'd test that theory, I could just manage to read your doctors," Randy laughed with a smile taking a seat at the desk and writing up notes from the day's session.

"So, will I be able to get back in the gym with the guys soon, even on light duties?" John asked.

"You've just got mobility back in your arm, do nothing that will set it back," Randy scolded him, sounding frustrated at his constant pushing to be further ahead.

John didn't mean to annoy Randy but he wanted to get back in and train with his teammates. If he stood a chance of getting his spot back next season, he needed to get back in the gym.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he slid on his shirt.

Randy sighed and hung his head, "John, listen, as soon as you can get back to training, I'll tell you," he promised. "The most you could complete right now is light cardio, and you hate the treadmill."

John smirked at the comment before sighing himself, "so not yet then."

"No, we'll review in a month."

John nodded, acknowledging Randy's suggestion, he thought to mention the pain afterward, even went as far as taking a breath before speaking the words, but stopped himself.

Randy closed his folder and stood, turning at the same time to head to the door.

"Ready for class?"

"I've still got half hour," John said looking at his watch.

Randy looked at his own watch before cocking his head to the door, "Come on, I'll buy you a coffee on your way and you can tell me what you were going to say."

Randy led John out from the room and John followed. His heart was racing as it always had with Randy. It was the first time since he had been attending the physical therapy sessions but he recognised it.

As they exited the training centre, John considered coming up with an excuse to head to his dorm room and get away from Randy. As rude as he had been to Randy before the holidays, John could so fall back into the close friendship he'd had with Randy, and that led to confusion.

"So, you going to tell me," Randy said slowing so he was walking alongside John.

John took a deep breath as he considered his actions, "My shoulder," he started, agreeing just to talk therapy, "It hurts for hours after our sessions, sometimes the painkillers I have won't stop the pain either."

"How many are you taking?"

"The prescribed dose."

"Do you ice it, does that help?"

"Yes," John said adjusting the bag on his good arm. "Not much though."

"Okay, after Thursday's session we'll try the opposite and put heat on it," Randy suggested, looking perplexed. "You should have told me before today."

"Yeah," John admitted. "It's just I..."

"What?" Randy asked stopping in his tracks.

"I still find it difficult," John shrugged and hung his head. "Every time we talk I remember how I spoke to you and treated you and you're just continuing on as before."

John watched as Randy closed his eyes and considered his words. John realised he looked tired and there was something else he couldn't put his finger on, but John was just noticing that Randy wasn't as laid back as he appeared.

"What do you want me to say?" Randy asked lost for words.

"What am I to you?" John heart was racing even faster than before, he couldn't believe he'd asked the question, he wasn't sure where it had even come from, but it was out there now. He tried his hardest to keep eye contact with Randy but he found it hard.

"An injured student who I'm administering Physical Therapy to," Randy said gulping before continuing. "A friend."

John nodded, as his heart slowed back to normal, slower than it had been around Randy at least. He had to admit, he was disappointed.

* * *

 _The next evening_

"John, dude, I've been waiting for days; when are you going to spill; you and Torrie, have you done her yet?" Chris asked throwing a softball at his head.

John smirked as the ball bounced off his head toward their bookcase. He was lounging on his bed pretending to read his Biology book so he kept his head lowered looking at the page, now and then turning it in case Chris noticed.

"I admire the way you're ignoring me, you don't over share but it means you did something with her."

"No it doesn't," John said not rising to the bait and continuing to read.

"Okay, fine, but she and Barbie were meeting for coffee the next morning. Girls do that when they have something to discuss," Chris said. "What they did with their boyfriends for example."

"They have boyfriends?" John asked mocking Chris' so called relationship with Barbie.

"Ha-ha," Chris sneered. "Okay, listen, if nothing happened and will never happen with Torrie, I can help you get with a girl that interests you."

"Chris."

"Come on, dude, you haven't been with a girl since the year started," Chris pleaded. "Did you leave a girl behind in your hometown?"

"No," John said. None of the girls in West Newbury were of any interest, no girl, ever, had interested John and with the time he'd been spending with Randy toward the end of the first semester, and now with the therapy sessions, John wondered if he should take a hint.

"Okay, listen, we're heading out again in two weeks and I'll no doubt crash at Barbie's since her roommate dropped out," Chris explained. "Bring Torrie back, for the second time, and do... whatever."

"Whatever?"

"Yeah, whatever," he said with a mischievous grin.

* * *

 _The following week_

Randy was pouring over his lesson plans for the next month, making sure he had everything he needed prepared. He liked to work two weeks ahead in case of emergencies, that way if someone were covering they had to pick it up and follow his lesson plans.

As he was making a note in his diary to copy an assignment brief, there was a knock at the treatment room door.

"Hey," John said as he entered and put his bag on the spare chair and took his shirt off as was now his habit upon entering.

"I figured you'd want coffee," Randy said without looking.

"Yeah, thanks," John murmured grabbing the cup and taking guzzling it.

"I swear you have iron guts," Randy shook his head as he put his diary to the side with his lesson plans.

"Whatever," John mumbled, rotating his shoulders.

"You in pain?"

"No, just don't want to do this today," John said heading to the table and pulling himself up onto it.

There sessions were becoming routine and John hated run of the mill. He needed to shake things up with the therapy sessions, but it was going to be hard considering John's strength wasn't yet back in his arm.

It was too late for this session but Randy made a mental note to come up with different exercises for the next session.

"Well, the quicker we get going, the quicker you'll be out of here and heading to class," Randy said trying not to let John become aware he sympathised with him. He took hold of John's arm and extended it out, raising it until he met resistance, he tentatively pushed it further before relaxing and repeating the movement, helping to warm the muscles up and loosen the tension. "Talk."

"I'm fine. You don't need to be worried," John said lead back with him eyes shut.

"John?"

"I'm fine," he stressed his eyes shooting open and making contact with Randy's. "I'm not going to break."

"Okay," Randy said giving up and shaking his head at John's mood. "Did you not get any sleep last night? Most people are only this cranky when they don't sleep."

"I slept, I'm fine," John huffed before closing his eyes again.

"John, you can't switch off from your therapy," Randy scolded. "It's two way. I need feedback from you."

"I'm-"

"Fine, yeah, I got that," Randy rolled his eyes. "If you open your eyes and take part in this session, for the remaining fifty minutes, I'll buy you dinner."

Randy hadn't meant to say that. He meant to say coffee; he could have coffee with John, not dinner. They could never go on a date. John wasn't there yet. Wasn't anywhere remotely near ready for a date. Hell, he wasn't even ready to acknowledge that he liked men yet, no matter that Randy could tell that was the case.

John still had said nothing to his comment, had he even heard it? Was he ignoring it on purpose?

"How's that?" Randy said moving on from his faux pas and changing exercises.

"Scale of one to ten, three or a four," John said opening his eyes. "Where are you taking me?"

Randy closed his eyes wishing John hadn't acknowledged him. He'd prefer to go back to ignoring each other. His face heated at his mistake, this time it was his turn to keep his eyes closed.

"I meant-"

"You said dinner," John reminded him.

"John... can you-"

"No. Ow, seven," John winced.

"Sorry; I meant coffee," Randy repeated. "Sit up please."

"Yeah, but you said dinner," John repeated as Randy lowered the back of the table.

"Lie back and bring your arms up in front of you," Randy said ignoring him.

"I hate this part," John grumbled knowing which exercise Randy was making him do. Randy handed him a balance stick and John held it up above him with Randy stood at the head of the board supporting John's arm, ready to take the bar when necessary.

"This should get me dessert," John said with a smirk.

"John, stop," Randy said causing John to lower the bar and Randy stopped him. "No, I mean your comments."

"Why? It's fun, it made my morning enjoyable," John taunted.

"Yeah well, mine just got worse," Randy said grimacing.

"If it makes you that uncomfortable then I'll let you buy me a sandwich from the canteen," John said smiling up at Randy getting Randy to smile back.

"Or at the weekend we get coffee and something to eat," Randy suggested, hoping to put the matter to rest.

"Fine, usual place?"

"That's fine," Randy said. "Besides, you still need to get through the session first."

* * *

 _That weekend_

John stretched his arm as the muscles tightened. He'd had a relaxed day in the park with Randy but the discomfort from his shoulder was never far from his mind.

"You okay?" Randy lifted his head from the ground as he spoke.

"Yeah, just tightened up," John admitted. "Nothing that's bothering me much."

"Tell me if you want food or a drink," Randy said crooking his arm under his head.

After meeting just before lunch they grabbed food in the coffee shop and then walked over to the park. They didn't plan to end up over here, they were just walking and talking, and the next thing it was an hour later and they were in the second biggest park in the town. They found a spot by the lake and collapsed to the ground and there they stayed for the rest of the day, getting up to move when they were hungry or if Randy wanted to chase the sun as it moved round.

John tried his hardest to hold in the gulp as Randy took his shirt off revealing a nice six pack but he took a minute to look away from the sight. In fact, he was fighting the urge to run his hand over the muscles, just to have him under his touch.

Randy broke his concentration by asking him how his day had been though John dodged the questions surrounding his classes not able to lie that he hadn't bothered to go to his English class. He was in the wrong not to go but he had the outline of work and Chris was good enough to share his notes since he was taking the class.

During the day John had bombarded Randy with questions on his home life as a child. He found out he was the eldest of three children with a younger sister, Becky, and a brother, Nathan.

He asked him to describe Missouri, since he'd never visited, and Randy told him of the places he spent his time growing up but his relaxed state meant he didn't go into detail. Randy decided he was hungry again and pulled John to his feet leading him around the park until they found a burger stand and they walked back to where they'd spent hours sunbathing.

Randy convinced John to remove his top this time and they stretched out on their sides as they talked. John loved this part of the day as Randy relaxed enough he forgot who he was with and it was nothing for him to take John's hand in his or push against his arm or stomach as they joked around, never once did the day get awkward between the two of them and John enjoyed every second.

"Is it me or is the sun fading?" John asked looking over the lake they sat by.

"Sun will set in an hour," Randy said sitting up and checking his watch. "I guess we should get back to the car."

"Can we bus it back?"

"What, are you bored with my company you want it over?" Randy joked dragging himself over to sit next to John.

"No," John said poking him in the side. "Just can't be bothered to walk that distance again."

"Come on then, I'll even pay for the fare," Randy said helping him to his feet. As they walked along the path, Randy kept his arm slung around John's shoulder. When they made it to the bus, and it arrived to take them back to the coffee shop where they left the car John was so relaxed he was twisting in his seat and leaning back to rest his head on Randy's shoulder.

* * *

 _That evening_

John bounded up the stairs after his day with Randy, he wanted to suggest they extend the day and do something in the evening but just as he went to bring it up, he lost his nerve, but even with that, it was the best day he'd had in a long time, one of the best days of his life.

As he exited the stairwell and rounded the corner, he spotted Barbie at the far end, at least he thought it was Barbie. A blonde pressed against the door to her dorm room and hadn't Chris told him her roommate had dropped out over Christmas?

He stayed back out the way so she couldn't see him and waited for them to disappear into her room; five minutes later he was still waiting. The pair weren't ones for privacy.

They fumbled for the door handle and as the door slammed closed he reverberated with a second slam and John presumed one of them pinned the other to the back of the door.

"What does Chris see in her?" he wondered as he climbed the final set of stairs to his floor.

* * *

 _The next night_

The last couple of weeks for John had improved since he and Randy had been talking again. Since his chat with Randy, John found his resolve to get better renewed. Randy helped him with his physical therapy, and he hoped they hung out again in their free time.

What John still needed to sort out was his lack of enthusiasm for his school work. Since returning from the holidays and still battling with his injury, he had no motivation for the work. Before Christmas his second priority had been his school work. Now it was low on his list. He got most of his assignments in on time but missed the deadline on a couple which meant his score was capped.

"John, are you here with me?" Torrie asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah I am," John said, wrapping his arm around her. Torrie wasn't a complete replica of Barbie, she had better morals and was interested in making conversation, but John still found it difficult to get interested. The only reason he had her in his room tonight was because Chris and Barbie had been making comments throughout the evening, he was just doing it to keep them quiet.

"He says going off into his own thoughts," she said laughing off his lack of interest. "Who are you thinking of while we're kissing?"

"You. I promise," John said pecking her on the lips. He was betraying himself by inviting her in and kissing her. Not to mention the guilt for leading her on when nothing was going to change.

Torrie leaned in and kissed John, an adorable smile on her face from John's words. She pushed him onto the mattress and being the gentleman John let her take the lead, letting her control how far things progress. The kiss was sweet and soft and John brushed her hair back from her face as she continued the kiss. When her tongue pressed against his lips, John opened for Torrie, causing her to moan into his mouth. John liked kissing; he liked the kiss, so why wasn't his body reacting.

 _"Because you want someone with more strength behind their kiss," a deep voice said in his ear. He turned his head finding Randy laying out beside him. The older man gripped the back of his neck and pushed his lips against John's. Randy kissed him with so much force John moaned his approval as his body reacted._

"Mm, now you're getting into this," Torrie breathed in his ear, snapping him from his guilty thoughts. What the hell just happened?

He took deep breaths trying to hide his reaction. Guilty over being caught, he shook the thoughts from his head, his eyes falling on the alarm clock on his bedside table so he didn't have to focus on Torrie's face.

"Torrie, I'm sorry, but I can't do this," John said not looking at her. "I don't think of you how everyone tells you I do. I'm sorry for leading you on but it's not right to take things further."

"What? But you..."

"I'm a guy I will react to a woman," he lied. "Doesn't mean I should do something."

"Wow... You think you're being noble don't you," she said sitting up on the edge of the bed. She stood and grabbed her coat, when you're just an asshole, the same as every other man on this planet."

She stormed out of the room, slamming the door on her way out and John fell back on the bed screwing his eyes shut.

 _"Well, now she's gone," Randy's voice popped back in his head. "Why don't we continue this?"  
_

John tried to imagine how a kiss with Randy turned into three or four. Randy's tongue sliding into his mouth. His making the return journey. Randy holding him steady with his firm hands.

Randy kissing him stronger as John responded. His hands brushing along his thighs and hooking under his knees, wrapping his legs around his waist, pulling him in closer as he did.

John moaned at how much Randy enjoyed the kiss, the evidence pressing hard against him. Damn John wanted even more. His hands wandered the contours of Randy's muscular arms and his fingers trailed along Randy's spine.

He imagined his reaction to Randy sliding his hands under John's top and pushing it up, removing it. And what if those same hands opened his pants and pulled them off along with his boxers. And what if his hands helped Randy out of his clothes, revealing his body. Every muscular inch.

John groaned as he pictured everything his mind didn't allow him to admit. He opened the front of his jeans to ease the pressure and without a second's hesitation his hand wrapped around his straining member.

John stroked himself as though his life was on the line, his orgasm rising fast through his body. He never reacted this way. John, a typical guy, had done this plenty of times, used magazines and web images as kindling but he took an age to get off from it. He wondered if he'd be able to keep it going.

John pictured himself with Randy, straddling Randy's legs as they kissed, Randy's hands grabbing his hips, holding him still as he thrust into him. John realized they weren't kissing in his imagination; realised they were further on than kissing.

"Oh fuck," John yelled as cum erupted from his cock at the mere thought.

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Keep the reviews coming :)**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hope you enjoy :)**

John entered the training room and slung his bag on the floor, slumping into the chair by the desk Randy sat at, he was going to be a difficult patient today.

He'd been considering asking Randy to change up his routine in the therapy sessions to help build back the strength into his arm. His flexibility was returning over the last few weeks and he was trying to get Randy to agree to join the rest of the football team in their practice sessions and have one-on-one training with him instead of running the drills the team were completing.

"Go get your track shoes on," Randy stated getting up from the desk and heading for the door.

"What?" John sneered at him.

"You should put a claim in to that hospital. You went in for surgery to fix your tendon and instead you've come out with a personality transplant, a schizophrenic one at that, not to mention you've gone deaf."

"You're not making fucking sense?" John griped.

"Hey, Mr Miserable, get the insolence in check and do what you're told," Randy snapped. "I'm a member of staff and you show me respect while we're here."

"Yes sir, Mr Orton, Sir," John snapped to attention. "You can tell you used to be in the marines."

"I wasn't in authority John," Randy said in a sad tone before leaving the room. "Please, go get your track shoes. We're doing something different today."

John disappeared to the locker room and changed his shoes. His arm snagging as he did. It had improved but nowhere near enough to resume his football career. When he returned to the training centre, Randy had changed into fresh clothes.

"Your arm may be hurt, but your legs are fine. We'll look at your general fitness today, we can work rehab into it, while getting you into the sun and fresh air."

"Fine," John said with a non-committal tone and a shrug. "Where are we heading?"

"No idea. We're find that out when we get there," Randy said with the smirk John liked.

"Whatever," John said trying not to let Randy get to him.

John let Randy lead, and they headed out, with the pace Randy set they ran for 30 minutes and ended up at yet another park John had yet to visit since he arrived in town.

"Okay, take it to a walk, there's a clearing that will be good for building strength in that arm of yours."

"Okay," John murmured. A little dismayed at how out of breath he was.

"You need to build general fitness into your routine while you can't do weights," Randy chuckled at John.

"Yeah."

"Man I need to get you to cheer up," Randy shook his head as he spoke.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're being a moody teenager."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Whatever."

Randy kept quiet after that and led John where he wanted to go. He hoped there were no kids with their parents. They were in luck as he turned the corner finding the space free.

"Aren't you wore out yet?"

"Me, no," Randy shrugged. "I try to go for an hour run each day, this was nothing. Didn't even cause a burn."

"Man, you have stamina," John commented.

"You don't have a clue," Randy chuckled wanting to show John the stamina he meant.

They spent the next thirty minutes doing small activities to build John's strength, pushing his limits until his arm gave out. Randy was right there to make sure John didn't fall and hurt himself. One exercise Randy caught him in his arms as his arm gave out. John put his good arm out to steady himself and for a moment didn't move, enjoying Randy's arm being around his waist and his own resting on Randy's shoulder. Randy stepped back when he realised they stood a moment too long.

"Let's give your arm a rest, your legs need to work out," Randy said walking away.

"Can't we take a break?" John muttered. "Five minutes?"

"Fine."

John walked over to one of the wooden bars and collapsed to the ground, resting back against the pylon. Randy came over and stretched out in front of him but with enough space between them it didn't get awkward. For a moment they didn't speak, but John had things on his mind still.

"Please tell me what's on your mind," Randy said shrugging when John looked at him with confusion. "You won't offer it up without me asking."

"Stupid stuff; not important."

"If it's effecting your mood, it's important enough to matter."

"My roommate keeps on at me because I never having a girlfriend," John said not looking at Randy.

"Chris right, he's a wrestler?"

"Yeah."

"Let me guess, he dates," Randy joked.

"Hooks up with one girl but they're not an item. I'm sure she's seeing a few guys."

"So tell him, he can't keep on at you for not dating, if he's not dating anyone," Randy shrugged.

"It's not that," John said gulping.

"What else?"

"What if..." he paused trying to find the right words and Randy let him take his time. "If it's not girls I'm supposed to be dating?"

"You date guys instead," Randy shrugged.

"I'm not sure, though."

Randy stayed quiet for a moment and John didn't make eye contact as they sat there. Randy's stomach was flipping over as his mind raced. This was going to go awry if he handled it wrong, but he had to find out where John was with his thoughts.

"Have you ever kissed a guy?"

"No."

"So, what makes you think-"

"When I kiss a girl nothing happens," John blurted wanting to talk.

"That doesn't mean-"

"What if I said something happened when I pictured guys."

"Be more specific."

"I had a girl with me, I didn't get turned on when I was kissing her, or she was kissing me. I tried to think of something to get myself into it and a guy's voice jumped into my head," John said.

"So, John, how many times do you think-"

"I got hard!"

"John I'm not one to discourage-"

"I freaked out and sent her packing, climbed back into bed and jerked off as I imagined another guy jerking my cock. I've never shot so fast in my life."

"Okay, well your sexual life has been what, the last couple of years. Four at the most."

"I've taken ages to cum, and it was someone who I loved. If you haven't had sex in a while you will pop the cork quicker than usual."

"You don't think I'm gay?"

"Until you've kissed a guy, how can you even tell?"

"I'm torn over it. In one way, I want to come out as gay and be done with it, the other thinks of the shit I will go through by doing that and I think I should stay in the closet."

"Don't trivialise something that so many men have had to do in their time, so they didn't get attacked. You have it easier than it was even ten years ago."

"Whatever."

"No. No, whatever. You don't understand the intolerance you're faced by being gay."

"Because you do," John scoffed.

"Yes, I do. I came out in high school. Got bullied because of it. So I joined the marines. Got messed up in shit I shouldn't have and got lumbered with a bad conduct discharge. That was less than ten years ago. You have it easy. If you think you're gay. Find a guy that interests you. Kiss him. If it does something for you, turn around to Chris and say, 'Hey, I'm gay.'"

"I'm sorry. I wasn't aware."

"Because I let you and other people see what I want them to see. John, I'm on the faculty at your college. Not your friend," he said getting up and walking away and grabbing his water bottle before heading out of the clearing.

John was speechless for a moment. He'd known Randy was gay but in the heat of the moment he forgot Randy was the reason why he was questioning his sexuality. Randy was right, he'd trivialised everything gay men had been through because he was pitying himself. He went over to where they'd thrown their belongings and grabbed his stuff. Was Randy was coming back or not? He waited around for a moment. As he went to head off, Randy walked back into the clearing. John hadn't seen the look on Randy before but it looked as though he was fighting his instincts.

"Do you want to find out?"

"What?"

"How it feels to be kissed by another man."

"Yes," he gulped.

"Make me a promise."

"What?"

"If you don't enjoy this, don't run to the dean of the college and tell them I've been harassing you."

"I promise," John said with a small chuckle.

"Close your eyes."

"I'm not a woman."

"John," Randy chided. "Do it."

John took a moment, a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Randy mimicked his actions but didn't close his eyes. Instead, he lifted his hand to John's cheek and cupped his face, holding him. He leaned in and took John's bottom lip between his own. He repeated the action on his top lip and John parted them looking for more. Randy thought for a second but pushed on and repeated his actions, this time running his tongue along the lips. He pushed his tongue into John's mouth and brushed it against the younger man's eliciting a small moan. Randy smiled at the sound and brought his free hand up to take hold of the other side of John's head before taking the kiss much deeper. After a moment more of kissing, John was taking part in the kiss and his hands travelled up Randy's back going under his shirt.

It had been an accident but John moaned at the touch of Randy's skin under his hands and it caused Randy to walk him back. John went with it, not knowing what Randy was doing until Randy had him pressed against the trunk of a tree, caught with no escape.

Randy's hands slid from John's head to his hips, his fingertips slipped under John's shirt and he started to pull the shirt up when he changed his mind and instead slid them lower and grabbed John under his butt and lifted him up wrapping John's legs around his hips and pressing against him, rolling his hips against John.

John broke away from the kiss to moan and Randy's senses came flooding back to him as the moan resonated in his ear.

"Shit," he said, releasing John's legs and pushing away. "I'm sorry. I-"

"Please don't..."

"I-"

"No. I wanted it."

"I shouldn't have done it. Any of it."

"Randy..."

"Um, we need to get back to college. Can you see yourself back?"

"You aren't-"

"I shouldn't have done that. The kiss or where it led."

"Randy, I was with you," John tried to convince him. "You helped me for sure. There's no way I can deny it now. I'm gay. And if I get to do that again, hell I'll get on a Tannoy in the city centre and tell the world."

"You promised," Randy snapped.

"Relax, I was joking," John said.

"I need to go. Don't wear yourself out, here take money and head back on the bus or get a cab."

"You aren't going back to the college?"

"No, I need to head home. A run might help relax."

"Randy..."

"No; I need to go."

John wanted to stop him, but instead he watched the man go, leaving him sure of his sexuality but even more confused than before they had spoken.

* * *

Later in the evening, John sat in the college library. He was trying to write an essay for his class but couldn't focus on the words. Instead he replayed the make out session he'd had earlier in the day with Randy. He remembered the pressure of Randy's lips on his and Randy's muscular back under his hands.

John saved his work and gave up on his essay and went to log off the machine when he had a thought. He went onto the internet and found the white pages, searching for Randy Orton. There were three results. One in town. He shouldn't be doing it but it was praying on his mind.

He pulled out his wallet and tapped in his card details. It was the most infuriating thing in the world, waiting for the payment to go through. As soon as it was on his screen he grabbed his notebook and scribbled the address.

He packed away his stuff and grabbed his bag, tripping over the neighbouring chair and getting mutters from the other students.

"Sorry," he muttered back.

He raced back to his dorm room and dropped his books on his bed before grabbing his coat and heading back out, determined to do this. John stopped, realising he didn't know where the street was. He asked two students and one recognised the name, telling him he'd need a cab to get there by walking.

John yelled a thank you, pulled his cell phone out and dialled the number for the cab.

Five minutes later he was jumping in the cab and heading for Santa Barbara Street. He was still puzzling out his words when he got there and he hoped that when he got there it was the right house. John chuckled as he imagined getting there and finding he had the wrong house.

He tried to watch which way the driver was going. His body hoping to have the need.

Ten minutes passed and John was at the house. He paid the driver, scraping the money together, good job he kept change in his pocket since he hadn't considered payment. Though it meant he'd have something to say to Randy, 'Hey, can you pay for my cab ride?'

He stood facing the building for a second, sighed and went for the door. He buzzed and waited... And waited.

"Please be home," he said.

As though God answered his prayers the light came on in the hallway and he saw someone heading along the hallway. He'd worked out his opening line but as the door opened, his mind emptied.

"Hi," he said staring at Randy's bare chest. It was the second time he'd seen his chest with his shirt off and it still made him shiver in the right places.

"What the fuck?" Randy swore. "John, what are you doing here? How did you even find out where I lived?"

"White pages dot com."

"Get inside before someone sees you," Randy snapped.

John stepped inside the house. Now he was here, he forgot what he wanted to say, he hoped he could speak before Randy threw him out and quit his job.

Randy slammed the door behind him and walked back along the corridor and through a door. Was he supposed to follow? A second later, Randy was walking back out pulling on a t-shirt.

"Why are you here?"

"I didn't want you doing something stupid?"

"Gee, thanks for having faith in me. Besides, an eighteen-year-old student isn't going to get me to do something stupid," Randy snapped again.

"You left me in a park and went home," John stated.

"I was being smart, I was removing temptation. I had it in my head to kiss you without my body reacting, I was wrong. It's been a while, and I got carried away."

"You see me as a temptation?"

"No."

"You said-"

"I meant..." Randy faltered. "I meant, the circumstances. It's been a while and I have a very compliant male body in my arms. It wasn't you."

"So you don't want to kiss me right now?" John asked with a sad face.

"No!"

"Good, cause I don't want to kiss you," John said shrugging. "You helped me out. Set me straight."

If truth be told he wanted Randy to kiss him again, but Randy wasn't handling that well and he wasn't going to push things. He saw Randy relax which helped relax John.

"Please don't quit," John said. "I look forward to seeing you and chatting."

"But the relationship is becoming unhealthy. You shouldn't be looking at me in that way and I shouldn't have tricked myself into helping you out."

"I made you angry. I guess I was being immature. Sorry."

"I guess I can forgive you, it's not the first time I've known you to be immature," Randy said with a smirk. "Come on through to the kitchen, I'll make you a drink."

"So are you still going to hand me over to another trainer?"

"I can't, my boss is the only other qualified Physical Therapist and I can't tell him what happened. Not if I want a job afterward."

John sat at the kitchen table as Randy busied himself with the drinks. They made small talk, what they've done with their free time after they went their separate ways. John studying and Randy marking.

Even after seven months, John didn't realise Randy was an instructor alongside his work in the training centre. John commented that Randy was a man of many talents before blushing.

Randy told him off for making the comment though he admitted it was nice to impress someone. It had been a long time since someone had shown an interest.

"You haven't had a boyfriend in while?"

"I went out on a date back along but it went nowhere. We didn't even make it into bed. The last time I got any was pushing six months. Not that we should discuss it."

Randy took a sip from his drink, blew on it and took a larger sip. John was puzzling his mind around something and Randy left him to his own thoughts as he continued drinking.

"So how does it work? Two guys having sex."

Randy choked on his drink and John spluttered over his words, trying to explain what he meant. When Randy's coughing turned more into laughter and his grin slid across his face, John calmed, turned red and hid his face in his hands.

"I guess they don't go through gay sex ed in high school," Randy joked. "I presume you now human biology enough to spot the differences between a man and a woman."

"Randy, shush, what I meant was-" John complained still hiding.

"Who's to say what you meant. I guess you want the general positions," Randy said still smirking.

"I figured it was the same as men and women," John said with a shrug not making eye contact with Randy.

"Depends on the couple. Guys can get adventurous on occasion," Randy said wiggling his eyebrows.

"I don't mean whips and chains, that's weird," John said going red again. "What's your favourite?"

"Depends on the guy. I need to connect with him so I prefer have his legs wrapped around me."

"As in, what we did earlier?"

"Yeah, but on a bed... If there's one available."

"It was... intense... Being able to kiss and be that close," John admitted.

"You enjoyed it?"

"I'm sure you noticed."

"Ditto."

It went quiet for another moment as they took in what the other said. They had both enjoyed the afternoon even if they didn't go further with it. John finished his drink and put the cup in Randy's sink.

"I guess I should go."

Randy stood and went over to where John stood, "Part of me wants to go further than a kiss-"

"But you can't," John finished for him. He took a deep breath and looked at Randy as though he wanted another kiss. To taste his lips again. Instead, he stepped around Randy and headed for the front door. "I'll see you Thursday."

* * *

 _Two days later_

While Randy waited in the treatment room for John he wrote up his notes from the session earlier in the week without mentioning the impromptu making out it included. With everything that had happened, Randy had neglected to complete his paperwork, and he wanted to make sure he noted the improvements.

Although John never missed their sessions, he worried that his earlier actions might have repercussions which they hadn't foreseen. Regardless of their talk later in the evening, John had a habit of thinking too much and that's where the problems arose.

"Hey," came the voice he loved hearing. Not that he should. No matter how much he tried to tell himself that John was off limits, the message didn't get through to his other parts of his body.

"Hi," Randy said finishing the sentence in his notes. He turned to John and smiled. "How's your day been?"

"Yeah, good, I hate not having footie in the morning, I still wake up expecting to go. I need to be active," John explained.

"Well, for now, and a while yet, these appointments the only way you're getting active," Randy said. "No doing something stupid."

John smirked at Randy's comment, throwing his owns words back at him.

"Right then, you might find today tiring, I want to press your tolerance levels, make sure we're not being too easy on those muscles."

"Trust me, you always tire me out," John joked as Randy pointed to the machine he wanted John to use.

"With age comes stamina," Randy quipped back.

"Can't wait to put that to the test," John joked again. John's relaxed nature threw Randy for a moment. He wasn't expecting the jokes from John. The kiss had been enough to give him confidence in his sexuality. Randy himself wanted to see what came of it.

* * *

 _A Week Later_

He shouldn't be doing this, but having knowledge of where Randy lived, John didn't fight the urge to visit Randy whenever he wanted too. The man was becoming impactful in his life and even if they were nothing more than friends with no way for more to happen, John wanted to be around him.

He knocked on the door and waited for Randy to answer, he was home because the light was on in the hallway. Through the frosted pane glass, John saw Randy coming and gave him his cheesiest smile when he answered.

"Mom, I have to go, someone's turned up," Randy said into the phone giving John a scowl but still showing him into his home. "Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow before I get on the plane. Bye."

"Sorry for interrupting," John said as Randy hung up and put the phone back in its base.

"You can't be turning up unexpected John," Randy admonished putting on the coffee machine and grabbing two mugs.

"I need help with an assignment, and I thought, who better than you," John said with another cheesy smile. "Look I even brought my books."

"The person better to help you with your work is your study group or your instructor," Randy said holding John's gaze.

"Yeah, but it's late, and I didn't want to bother them, besides, everyone's partying for Spring Break."

"And you're not because?"

"I'm heading back home to see my brother," John shrugged. "I didn't want to do the 'glug, glug, woo hoo' thing."

"Glug, glug, woo hoo?" Randy asked. "John, you need to remember to be a teenager and not an old man."

"Whatever, can you help me or what?" John asked changing the conversation away from why he was avoiding the spring break trip to Tampa.

"Depends on the topic," Randy said turning serious as he poured the drinks. He put one in front of John and pulled a stall closer to John to read the assignment. "John, your assignment is reading!"

"Yeah, and it's so loud at the dorms I can't concentrate. Please help me by giving me somewhere to study."

"You came up with a lame ass excuse to come over to my house when you have a library on campus," Randy complained getting up from his seat and heading into his living room.

"So you're heading home for the break?" John asked following Randy.

"Yeah, for a couple days," Randy said heading for the sofa where he had a pile of assignments waiting for him. "I miss my family. It'll be nice to sit and chat to mom without doing so through the telephone. What topic are you covering at the moment?"

"Metabolism, which I guess is linked to the work you do," John said.

"The athletic trainer side, yeah; it's amazing how many people don't realise what foods they should eat and how your body breaks those foods turn into energy and such."

"You enjoy what you do, don't you?"

"Until I met you, yeah," Randy said looking over at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" John asked offended at Randy's comment.

"I swear you will get me in trouble, without meaning to," Randy chuckled. "I can't control myself around you, and I don't enjoy that lack of control."

"Sorry," John chuckled, appreciating Randy's candour.

* * *

 _Two weeks later_

"I'm stuffed," John said as he collapsed onto Randy's sofa.

"Glad you enjoyed," Randy chuckled sitting on the adjacent sofa and switching on the television. "Thanks for helping with the clean-up the dishes."

"Yes, I'm an expert as loading a dishwasher," John said. "Though I'm rusty because I eat at the canteen most days."

"What movie did you want to watch?" Randy asked ignoring John's joking.

"Can we improve on last time and watch an action movie?"

"So be it," Randy said scrolling to the movies on his television. They spent five minutes deciding on a film and as the film started Randy popped into the kitchen and poured drinks for them. He kept it to soft drinks since he had work and John had school the next morning.

John was thinking of Randy's house as his second home as the days went by and he kicked his shoes off to put his feet up on the sofa. It occurred to Randy earlier in the evening that John had been around near enough every night since their return from Spring Break. In fact, the two nights he hadn't been there, Randy had ended up texting him to see if he'd be coming over to see him. He'd given up on trying to convince John of the inappropriateness of his visits and instead had him promise that no one found out where he spent his evenings.

Randy hated himself. He worried people may think he was a pervert and wasn't sure he shouldn't be turning himself in to the cops. He kept reminding himself that John turned nineteen the following month, and that nothing had happened, short of making out in the park.

"Where are you going?" Randy asked as John got up from his sofa.

"I can't see the screen," John said climbing onto the sofa next to Randy. He was so close that the heat radiated off his body warming Randy's skin. "I won't bite. Unless-"

"Don't John," Randy admonished him trying not to look at his face. John had puppy dog eyes superb at making you regret your words and he was guilty of that and other sins.

"I was joking," John said. "Damn, you're in a serious mood tonight. Aren't you the one who keeps making innuendo?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Randy said trying to relax. He sank further into the corner of the sofa and ran his hand over John's shaven head, smiling. "I'm sorry, no more serious Randy."

"Good," John said shifting in his seat to lean back into Randy's side, resting his head on his shoulder and again putting his feet up on the furniture.

Randy smiled to himself, unable to help himself. John had something that tugged at his heart strings. If they stayed in one another's lives Randy was sure he'd give in and they'd be together.

Even if it were against college policy, at least John was legal and in college.

They fell into comfortable silence as the movie went on and Randy's arm slipped around John's shoulders as he turned onto his side, resting his head on Randy's chest. A couple more minutes passed and Randy tensed as John's arm stretched out and his hand landed on Randy's thigh.

His reaction wasn't instantaneous but it had been a while since another man's hand had been even that near his cock and Randy slipped into fantasy, imagining John led out next to him, jerking his cock and sliding his lips over the tip before taking him in his mouth.

The weight of John's hand resting on his thigh, and his vivid imagination were enough to have him rock hard in minutes, he tried to ignore it and continue watching the movie but it was no good. The only way to put an end to this was to move John.

Randy tried to shake John wake but John was too far gone. Instead, he removed John's hand from his thigh and supported his head as he moved out from his spot on the sofa. He crouched in front of him and lifted him up, carrying him from the room.

He headed for his own room but stopped himself, cursing, as he went a few steps along the corridor and put him in the spare room, covering him with the sheet.

"Night, John," Randy said placing a chaste kiss on his forehead. "God, please don't strike me where I stand."

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed :) Please review :)**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: Get comfy, this is an extra long chapter :)**

* * *

"You're doing well today," Randy said encouraging John through the session. They were making progress this week but his arm was strained.

"Did you do something nice last night?" John asked as he rested back against the back of the table.

"I went out for a meal with Mom and Dad," Randy said. "Sorry, again that it's interfered with our plans. It was a surprise visit. Over to the bench press."

"We can catch up after they've gone home, you enjoy spending time with your family," John said.

"On your back," Randy instructed.

"I swear you only think of sex," John joked causing Randy to roll his eyes.

John lay on the bench press and fidgeted until comfortable. "Can't we at least put a decent weight on this thing?"

"Don't start again, we've just got you on the bench press, give it two or three weeks until we push on with the strength training," Randy admonished him before lifting the bar from its rest and handing it to John.

"Right, Mr Cautious," John griped. He was messing with Randy, Randy didn't rush but he didn't hold him back unless he thought he wasn't ready. Which he did when John spoke to him, wanting to resume his training with the football team. Randy considered it, but then ruled it out when they were using the cardio equipment in the main training room. Randy admitted to John afterward he changed his mind because he didn't think John was ready to be in the same room and not be able to take part.

"Is the weight okay?" Randy asked.

"Yeah, did you up the weight?"

"By twenty pounds," Randy clarified. "You sure it's okay?"

"Yeah, noticeable but I'm okay," John confirmed. He took his time with the repetitions otherwise Randy told him off for rushing and getting slack on his technique.

They ran through another set of ten presses before Randy moved him back to the table to stretch his arm out again.

"Do you need ice?" Randy asked as John grimaced from the discomfort.

"Yeah, please," John nodded and Randy went to the freezer they kept in the treatment room.

John waited for Randy's return, keeping his arm moving which he found helped after their sessions.

"Have you booked your check up with the doctor?" Randy asked coming back in the room.

"Yeah, but my appointment's at the end of the month," John told him. "Guess that gives me more time to improve."

"You're making good progress at the moment. Come on leaps and bounds since we started," Randy clarified heading to the desk and making notes as was his routine.

John put his shirt back on went over to sit next to Randy, "What's the chances are convincing you to go to lunch with me?"

"Zero."

"Why?" John said offended.

"Because Mom and Dad fly back to St Louis tomorrow and I'm giving them a tour of the campus," Randy said without looking at him. "Why do you want to have lunch?"

"Can't I enjoy spending time with you?" John asked with a serious lilt to his voice.

Randy looked up with his own look which told John he wasn't buying his story and he should try again.

"Okay, so I wanted to pick your brains, and it's a topic you don't appreciate talking me bringing up on campus."

"Uh huh," Randy murmured turning quiet. "And this topic is..."

"Gay clubs."

John contained his laughter when Randy's head fell to the desk. The man mumbled something but John didn't hear what he was saying with his head buried in his arms.

"I was just wondering how the gay club scene differed. If it is different to a regular club scene. Not that I've been to many clubs, just when the school year began, I went out with the football team."

"Yeah, I remember," Randy said rubbing his face.

"What?"

"I was out on the town that night, so you know what the gay club scene resembles," Randy admonished.

"You..."

"Watched you," Randy said. "Getting up close and personal with this bear of a guy."

"That... That was a bet from the guys," John admitted embarrassed at having Randy spot him doing that. "I... I want a proper club experience."

"Then head out one weekend."

"I've never been before, where do I go?" John asked with a cunning ploy jumping into his mind. "Besides, I'll feel safer with you there to protect me."

He left it a second to sink in, knowing full well it worked. Randy admitted one evening he enjoyed protecting someone and having receive that treatment in return, it was his favourite part of being in a relationship with someone.

"I hate you sometimes," Randy said sitting upright again. "It will have to be tomorrow night, and you can crash at mine because I'm not paying for a taxi to here and then back home."

"Cool, I'll tell Chris I'm at the library that night," John said jumping up and grabbing his bag.

"You have got to come up with fresh excuses," Randy called after him.

"Tomorrow at half seven, can I change at yours?"

"Okay, yeah, tomorrow," Randy said slumping forward again.

* * *

 _The next evening_

He was in luck. Chris didn't come back to the dorm during the afternoon and evening. John figured he was somewhere with Barbie. The guilt was building up in him whenever Chris mentioned her. John was Chris' friend and should have told him what he'd seen, but then Chris knew that John didn't get on with Barbie and would believe his admission was because of that. He wasn't going to argue with and lose a friend because of a girl who'd be out of his life by the end of his time at school if not before.

John pulled a pair of smart jeans from his wardrobe along with a shirt he thought was good enough to wear out. He never saw Randy dressed up so didn't know what his style was or if what he chose was suitable, but he was going out for a night on the town, not a fashion show.

Just as he put the top and jeans in his bag, the door to the room opened and Chris entered.

"Hey man, how's your day been?"

"Good. Is it me or are the instructors getting crabby?" John asked having noticed his three instructors were becoming ruthless.

"Guess it's getting to the time of year where everything has to be done," Chris shrugged. "You heading out?"

"Late night at the library," John said grabbing his books from his desk.

"Again?" Chris insinuated. "You're doing lots of those at the moment."

"Just have assignments due," John lied without looking at Chris. He wanted to tell Chris what was going on but never knew how without causing trouble for Randy.

"John, it's Friday night, we're heading for the bar, why don't you join us?"

"I can't, I've been getting behind and need to sort it out," John admitted, and part of that was the truth but he got most of it sorted that week since he needed something to distract him from going to Randy's place.

"I'm thinking you've met a girl, someone you hit it off with, someone such as... Torrie?"

"You're wrong, I haven't seen Torrie in over a month," John admitted, flushing at the thought of what occurred that night both with Torrie and what happened afterward. "No doubt she told Barbie, and Barbie repeated it to you."

"Just be grateful she told me and no one else," Chris chuckled knowing how Barbie was with gossip. "Will you be back before me?"

"I doubt it," John said. "I'll catch you tomorrow."

John got out of the room before Chris challenged him anymore. If he met someone that night, that was his way to tell Chris everything he was going through and not get Randy in trouble. That meant he needed to look at other guys except Randy and he wasn't sure if he could make it happen.

* * *

 _That night_

So far John's night turned out different from how he planned. He wanted to hit the dance floor with Randy, have a few drinks, and meet guys. Instead, Randy let him have one or two drinks, and Randy yet agreed to a dance and when anyone approached him, Randy eyed them away.

"Do you want a drink?" John said bouncing his knee to the music.

"Sure, do you want a coke?"

"I prefer Budweiser," John said getting annoyed when Randy checked his watch before nodding. What was he, keeping track of how many John drank? Randy got up from the table they sat at and headed over to the bar.

John watched as the bartender served him ahead of the others as soon as he got there, he niggled at John when Randy flirted back. It wasn't in your face flirting but enough that John noticed and hurt that Randy flirted with the bartender but not him.

"It's been a while," a deep voice said sitting at his table.

"Huh?" John asked sounding dumb. He turned his head to look at the man who spoke to him and was in shock. He remembered the face well, regardless of how he hard he tried not to look too close at the time. "Oh, hi."

"Your friends dragged you off before I got your number," the man said with a grin. "Why don't we finish that dance tonight and you can give me your number."

"Umm," John said sounding so intellectual it hurt. He looked over to the bar and got a stab to the heart as Randy stood with his arm snaking around the waist of a redheaded man, smiling and laughing and looking more relaxed than he ever did with John.

He realised this was his moment. The night wasn't going to plan with Randy but he wanted to get a dance and meet guys. Well, one guy came back even after eight months of not seeing him. He was going for it.

"So what do you say, do you want to dance?" the big man asked. For a second time.

"Yeah, sure," John said throwing another fleeting glance at Randy who still flirted with another man. "John is my name."

"John, I'm Brock" he introduced himself.

Brock pulled him through the throng of people onto the dance floor. The music playing was a dance song he didn't know but there was a good bass to it so he found the rhythm. The larger man stepped up behind John and pulled him back by his hips so his ass pressed against the man's hips.

"You got a nice ass," the man shouted over the music as they moved to the music. This time around, everything John appreciated during their last dance became overshadowed by one thought; it's not Randy; Randy's arms are a better size; Randy didn't make those comments unless he was joking around.

John tried to step away but the older man hold on him was a clamp instead of a light touch allowing movement.

"Hey, can I cut in," Randy said stepping in front of John and pulling him away from the other man.

"We were dancing."

"John was dancing, you were trying to get off," Randy said stepping between the two to get to John.

John enjoyed seeing Randy protective, it was a turn on and he understood why Randy liked it in return. That being said he didn't want to ruin Randy's night.

"Randy, why don't we go have that drink," John suggested placing a hand on Randy's well-muscled arm.

"Yeah, okay," Randy said staring daggers at John's dance partner before leading John off the floor.

"Catch you again, John," he called behind them.

Randy turned his annoyance to John when they reached their table.

"John, meet Heath," Randy said introducing them.

"Randy, care to dance?" the other man said ignoring John.

"No, I'm not in the mood anymore," Randy said taking a swig from his bottle.

"I'm sure I can change that," Heath flirted.

"Heath, I said no," Randy tried to laugh it off but he was in a mood.

"Randy, loosen up, you always take things too serious," Health said standing behind Randy and trying to make his shoulders move.

"Heath, he said no, god damn it," John snapped, annoyed at the constant badgering.

John shocked himself with his outburst and the surprised look in Randy's eyes went well with the small grin sliding onto his face.

"So glad the two of you came out tonight," Heath said before walking away into the throng of people.

John and Randy resumed their evening from before but it wasn't much more than talking, a light touch from Randy now and then. He was more relaxed than before, even if he still didn't let John have many drinks.

After another four or five guys tried to approach John as they talked Randy got more and more riled. John didn't understand why he was getting uptight, it wasn't jealousy he didn't think of him in that way, at least not enough to act upon it. Was that it though; if Randy didn't have him, no one did? It was unfair if that was the case. Next time John was going out by himself so he could have a few drinks and dance, get a few numbers. Just because he got the numbers doesn't mean he was obligated to call or put out. He wasn't ready for that anyhow, not by a long shot.

"You've gone quiet," Randy leant over to say.

John shrugged not sure what Randy wanted him to do. He wanted to hit the dance floor but Randy didn't but he didn't let anyone else near so they could ask. What was John to do?

Randy checked his watch, "Ready to go?"

John checked his own watch and rolled his eyes, "I guess you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Randy it's just past midnight and you want to head home. You haven't even been on the dance floor."

"Don't start," Randy warned.

"Look, I want one dance, one proper dance where I'm not pulled away by this protective oaf," John barked. "After that, the protective oaf can call it a night and I'll go along with.

Randy hung his head for a moment before muttering a swear word at nobody in particular.

"Fine, but one dance," Randy agreed.

"Why do you hate dancing?"

"I don't hate dancing, but people can get the wrong idea from a dance. One guy thought we were dating because I danced with him," Randy explained before standing. "This is a dance, nothing else."

"Yes, sir, Mr Orton, sir."

"Stop sassing me or you won't get a dance," Randy warned with a smile.

He led John back through the crowded room to the dance floor. As they arrived the music changed to a slower song and John registered how everyone was getting in close together so a wisp of air couldn't get through. Guys were damn near having sex on the dance floor the way they were moving together.

Randy smirked at him and pulled him in so they were face to face, "One dance right?"

"Uh huh," John blurted self-conscious. He clung to Randy's arms looking for the protection Randy offered him.

"Still want to dance?" Randy asked with a cocky smile.

"Yes," John said looking around at everyone.

"Right, but can you at least act as though you want to be here with me and not everyone else," Randy said as he grabbed John's ass and pulled him in tight to his body.

John moaned at Randy's blatant act, their bodies pressed together. This was fuelling a few of his fantasies.

Randy took the lead and John's body moved without much thought from his brain. His hips were stimulated by Randy's slow grinding movements, not from Randy's hold, because if he wanted to step away or turn around then Randy let him, but it was his own need forcing him to move, with Randy grinding against him.

His cock stirred in his pants causing him to blush and he hoped Randy didn't tease him for reacting to the dance. John thought he heard a low groan emerge from Randy but he wasn't sure, he focused on letting his arms run the length of Randy's arms and across his chest. Randy shifted his stance and changed the way he was grinding against John. The friction against his lower body growing as something pressed against his hardening cock. His eyes sprung open when he realised what pressed against him.

He wished they weren't at a club and were back at Randy's. If they were, John might be brave and kiss him and let things progress as they may. When he was ready, John wanted Randy to be his first. When one of Randy's hands slip under his shirt to his abs, he prayed Randy wanted the same.

* * *

 _Later that week_

"Thanks for agreeing to change the time, I was asked to cover a class," Randy said as John entered.

"Yeah, um, thanks again for this weekend," John said checking the door was still shut.

"John, I told you that was between us," Randy scolded.

"It is. No one knows. My roommate thinks I was at the library tonight," John chuckled.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Randy said opening John's file. "Never do that without me though. You're fresh meat to those who haven't got boyfriends. They wanted to eat you alive."

"For real?" John asked beaming. "Guess it's a good job you were there then, protecting me as close as you were."

"I hate you," Randy said shaking his head. "You realise that when I said they wanted to eat you alive, I meant they wanted to bend you over the nearest table and fuck you."

"Oh," John said shocked.

"Thank god, I got your attention," Randy said rolling his eyes. "If you aren't ready for the rough and tumble, then don't head out on the club scene without a friend."

"Yeah, okay, I should head to class."

"Later."

"Yeah."

"Hey, John," Randy said stopping him. "I won't let that happen. I promise. And you don't have class. You have a therapy session with me."

John nodded, realising how vulnerable he was. If he went to a straight club it wasn't be an issue. No guy went near him. It was a different mind-set, he was a young lad going into a man's world and as Randy said, he was fresh bait.

Randy was just showing John where to go first when the door opened and Cody walked in with a group of students.

"Randy, great, you haven't started yet," Cody said. "We've been discussing tendon repairs, and I remembered John was recovering from tendon repair surgery. Do you mind if we sit in the session?"

Randy looked at Cody for a second too long before answering.

"No problem, as long as my patient doesn't mind, this time belongs to him," Randy said turning his attention to John.

"Umm, no, I don't mind, it's fine," John said. "Do I need to do something different?"

"Just-"

"Just answer questions the students might put to you," Cody said interrupting Randy.

"Um, okay," John said.

"John, hop onto the table, I want to do flexibility checks with you before we move onto the strength exercises," Randy explained.

John was trying to catch Randy's attention as he worked on John's shoulder. Every time a student asked Randy a question, and he went to explain, Cody interrupted and answered for him. And John even noticed that Cody was questioning Randy's methods with the way he was asking him to explain what he was doing now and why he chose that exercise.

Randy was finding it difficult to keep his cool and the only reason he was keeping in check was because the students were there.

John zoned out after a while, speaking when he was asked a question. Randy caught his attention as they went back to the therapy table. Randy looked at him with concerned eyes.

"Okay, I'm just going to run through the basics with you and then we'll end it there for today," Randy said handing John a cane to hold up and balance. "Same as ever, John. Hold it up and keep it balanced."

After even ten seconds, the cane was teetering from side to side.

"Talk, John," Randy whispered.

"It's important when doing this work you have the trust of the patient. You need to back off when the patient needs to rest the affected part otherwise you damage the appendage even more."

"Can they go now?" John asked as Randy took the cane from John.

"Yeah," Randy said turning away from John and heading over to Cody. He paid Cody respect and leaned in to whisper his threat. "Get out before I throw you out."

Cody paled before turning to his class and calling an end to the lecture, telling them to head back to the lecture room and collect their belongings.

As soon as the door closed, John covered his eyes and sobbed, his arm hurting more than the familiar ache as was usual. Randy went over to the fridge in the corner of the room and grabbed an ice pack.

"Sit up John," he whispered. "Take off your shirt."

Randy adjusted the table for John to lean back against and rest, but as he was lifting the table top, John groaned as he tried to remove his t-shirt.

"Hold on," Randy said securing the table and then going up behind John and helping him with the shirt. "Get your feet back up on the table."

John spun around so his feet were on the therapy table as Randy strapped the ice pack to his shoulder.

"Sit there and keep this on while I write my notes," Randy instructed. John nodded his understanding though tears of pain were in his eyes. "You did well."

He ran a hand over John's head and pressed his lips to his forehead.

"I didn't want to look weak," John admitted.

"Few students can recover from surgery such as this," Randy said heading over to the desk where his file still sat. "I want you to be honest with me at our next session. No hiding."

"Okay."

"I mean it. If you hide pain from me again I hand you over to my boss," Randy threatened.

"I said okay," John griped.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

John sat there for five more minutes when Randy wrote his notes. Before he left, Randy checked his shoulder until he was happy with it, not that it was a good idea to have Randy's hands over his bare skin. The heat from his hands against the coolness from the ice was enough to make him shiver, eliciting a quip from Randy.

* * *

John walked out of the training centre and groaned as he spotted Cody walking toward the building. He hoped he said nothing, or just pleasantries. He didn't Cody, and he didn't stand for the way he was disrespectful toward Randy in the treatment room.

"Hey John, thanks for today," Cody said stopping him in his tracks. "We didn't interfere with your rehabilitation, did we?"

"No, it's fine," John said. "Glad I was helpful."

"I think Randy wasn't best pleased I interrupted," Cody said. "I should apologise to him."

"What do you mean? Randy's an instructor here the same as you. I'm sure he'd do the same if one of his classes needed first-hand knowledge."

"Yeah, I mean, Randy and I help each other out where needed," Cody said with a knowing looking.

John didn't understand what he meant, and he didn't worry either. Cody made stupid comments whenever he opened his mouth.

"Umm, I should-"

"I mean, he's... Well, you're aware he's gay, right," Cody whispered, mouthing the words.

"Yeah, what does this have to do with me?"

"Well, we 'help each other out', when he can't get laid," Cody said with a triumphant smirk. "We went on a few dates. Never turned serious. It's inappropriate. Both working in the same place."

"Umm, why are you tell-"

"Because, I can tell when guys are into each other, John, and it's not just me who can tell," Cody said turning serious.

"I don't-"

"Don't play coy, John. There's no harm in liking a guy," Cody said. "Unless it's classed as sexual harassment. An instructor messing around with a student."

"We're not... I don't..." John lost his voice as Cody was trying to get him to admit Randy and he liked each other. Not that Randy ever confirmed he liked him. After the dance at the club he was a perfect gentleman, not even putting the moves on him when they got back to his place. John still ended up having a restless night and from the tossing and turning he heard coming from Randy's room, Randy was the same.

"Hey, I'm not trying to cause trouble," Cody said putting his hands up in defence. "I thought someone should tell you. If your little tryst with Randy doesn't end, then Randy's job might. He has a similar complaint on file. I'm guessing the college don't want to risk having an instructor with a second complaint and not be seen to be doing something."

"He could lose his job?"

"Yeah, John, it's a possibility," Cody said in a fake supportive and calm manner "Now, I'm friends with Randy as much as you and I want nothing to happen. Do you?"

"No," John whispered.

"So be brave and be the one to end it. There'll be other guys," Cody said putting a hand on John's good shoulder. "I should make sure I didn't piss Randy off too much. Remember what I said."

After Cody went into the building John continued his way back to the dorms to rest and think things through, something he was doing far too much of since arriving at college.

As he arrives at his dorm room, his phone buzzes. It's a message from Randy.

 _ARE YOU COMING AROUND MINE TONIGHT?_

* * *

 _The next day_

"Catch you later, man," Chris said leaving the dorm room for class.

"Yeah," John replied a second too late as the door swung shut. He was in no rush to get up today, he'd done his assignments and he didn't have a class until ten. He grabbed his phone off his cabinet and checked his messages.

There was one from Randy. He dismissed the notification without reading it; he wasn't ready to tackle the whole Randy getting fired stage. Randy mentioned it but always in a light hearted way, John didn't realised there was the potential for it happening.

Cody's comments were enlightening, John thought they were friends and they hit it off, he never realised he was previously involved with another student, even if no one proved it. Did Randy find someone each year _?_

"No," he scolded himself. That wasn't who Randy was, he knew Randy. Randy was caring and wanted everyone to succeed, helping with the team practices and always on hand for the games. John learnt that first hand thanks to his injury.

Then there was the Cody issue, not the threat, Cody's performance was laughable, but what he found interesting was the snit bit of information that Cody and Randy dated, even if it were just casual sex, Randy kept it a secret.

He grabbed his wash gear and headed for a shower, he needed to forget what Cody told him and a shower was the best way. He didn't need to decide on his course of action until the next day. If any messages arrived from Randy then John could just ignore them, and if he wasn't up to dealing in the morning, then he can skip his Physical Therapy session. One missed session couldn't hurt.

* * *

 _A week later_

"God damn it," Randy swore as he knocked over the box of tap for the third time in the last hour.

"Are you okay Mr Orton?"

"Yeah, just having one of those afternoons," he commented to the gymnast whose ankle he was taping. "Is that tight enough?"

"Tight enough I won't be able to put weight on it," the girl said with a chuckle.

"That's because you won't. You need to rest it for at least a week. I'll tell your coach. I'm sorry."

"Mr Orton, sir," she said trying to plead. "This is an important competition. If I don't attend and win then it affects my future."

"I'm sorry, Stacy, but I can't let you take part with an injury; you'll end up with a more serious injury and you still won't be able to compete just for a longer time."

"Okay, but-"

"No but's Stacy, you can't compete with a sprained ankle," Randy snapped.

He picked up the tapes scattered on the floor and packed them away before he knocked them over again. He grabbed the phone off the hook and rang the coach's office asking for her to come over to chat with him and explain. If Stacy didn't listen to him, then her coach can try.

While he waited he went into the small office and closed the door to get a few minutes peace and quiet. He wasn't having a five minute argument with a gymnast. He expected it off her, but he was old enough to stand back and not get involved. Randy should set an example around this place, not joining in with the immaturity.

Randy decided John was avoiding him and it was causing a constant mood. For over a week John skipped his physical therapy sessions and didn't answer his phone or respond to text messages. His home had become desolate without John visiting most nights. Randy promised himself if John didn't turn up too his physical therapy session the next day, it was in John's best interest to report it to his boss. John may hate him, but since he wasn't communicating with him, this was the only way to get a reaction. At least he hoped John showed up to yell at him.

There was a knock on his door and he looked up at the coach. He showed her in, and she took a seat.

"You spotted Stacy out there," Randy said nodding toward the girl still sat on the treatment table.

"Sprained ankle?"

"I suspect so," Randy nodded. "I've bandaged it for support but my recommendation is for her not to compete at the upcoming competition. This isn't-"

"Randy, I appreciate that you're doing your job, but this competition is the most important for the gymnastics team," she said. "I can't allow you to take out one of the best gymnasts we have."

"If she performs on a sprained ankle, she'll be chancing serious damage," he said as his temper flared.

"On the flip side, she may win the whole competition. Are you willing to take that chance away from her?"

Randy sat for a moment taking in the callous approach of the coach. This is why he chose to work with the football coach. Of every team, he was the one Randy trust to do the right thing, even if it's an unpopular decision.

"Fine, whatever," Randy said getting up and opening the door. "Let's just hope Stacy isn't a regular visitor to this place after the competition."

He shut the door in her face before she came back with another comment. He wasn't in the mood to argue with a women who put competition wins over people. In fact, he wasn't in the mood to interact with anyone, not if they refused to listen to his professional opinion.

"Everything okay?" Cody asked walking into the office.

"Do you care?"

"Randy, we may not always agree, but you're a friend and a colleague," Cody said taking a seat.

"I'm just... Having a week of it," he said sighing. "To top it off, I'm questioning why I'm working somewhere when no one listens."

"The coach?"

"Yeah."

"Randy," Cody said putting a hand on his knee for support. "Don't let them get to you. You're doing a great job. Your only problem is that you care too much."

"Meaning?" Randy bit.

"You put everything into your work, you have nothing outside of work," Cody told him. "Your family is in Montana-"

"Missouri," Randy corrected.

"Right, you must miss them. A phone call isn't the same as being face to face with them," Cody said sympathising. "I'm from Georgia so don't see my family much."

"So what, I should move back home?" Randy asked confused by Cody's statement.

"What? No, we can't lose you. You're the hardest worker we have."

"Yeah, whatever," Randy said shaking his head and standing. "I need to get coffee."

Cody made a point, this wasn't the place for him anymore.

* * *

 _Later that week_

"Cena, what are you doing here?"

"Just dropping by to talk to Chris," he pointed to his friend who was pulling his shirt on after practice.

"Well, if you're here... I need to have a word with you," the coach said not making eye contact with John.

"Okay, sure," John said trying to stay cheery. This was going to be painful. He knew what it was, and John didn't want to face it; but the choice wasn't his to make.

"How are you?" the coach asked as John closed the door to his office.

"Good, arm's back to full health," John said moving it around to show the coach. He nearly got away with it until it hitched and gave him pain.

"Very nearly," the coach said noticing the twinge. "Listen, John, there's no easy way, and I wish I didn't have to tell you this."

"Yeah," John said hanging his head. He was expecting this. His visit with doctor on Saturday had been mixed news. While he made excellent progress, there was no chance to make a full recovery in time for the next season.

"John, I'm sorry," the coach said sympathetically. "I want to have you back but I have to listen to the docs on this one."

"Yeah," John said trying to stay strong.

"If you can't make the summer camps, there's no way to give you a spot on the team," the coach said. "Not to mention you haven't been able to do the strength training with the rest of the team."

"I tried to get Randy to let me attend, but-"

"Randy was right to hold you out of those sessions, you'd more than likely injure your arm further," the Coach said. "I respect his opinion, and I imagine you do."

"Can I try-out in a year, get back on the team?"

"John-"

"I want to play," John pleaded.

"I'm sorry, son," the Coach said looking at him. "I've decided."

"Yeah, okay," John said trying to stay polite and mature. He grabbed his bag and slung it onto his shoulder and exited the office. Forgetting Chris he headed toward the exit. Just as he turned the corner he heard the coach call for Chris to update him.

As soon as he was out the building, he headed in the direction for his Biology class but instead of entering the building, he kept walking, no longer in the mood for learning.

"John, wait up," he heard Chris call. He tried to ignore him but Chris was fast and caught up to him. "Want to take a walk?"

"Yeah, sure," John said.

"Good, we'll walk across campus and get you to Biology," Chris said turning him in the right direction. "No point failing class because of attendance."

* * *

 _The next day_

"John, I'm sorry to have pulled you from your Chemistry class but I needed to discuss your future here at college."

"Am I in trouble?" John asked concerned.

"No, you're not in trouble," he confirmed. "I've received correspondence today from the scholarship board."

As soon as the head mentioned those words, John hung his head. He hoped the news took longer to arrive. Twice in two days, the college were giving him news he didn't want to hear, this time the impact was bigger than not being allowed to play football.

"John, the coach informed the school board you cannot play football for the college," the head continued. "And with your scholarship being sports based, they aren't able to continue the funding."

"Thank you for passing on the news," John said taking his bag and heading to the door.

"John, you have other options which can be explored," the Head commented trying to get John to stop.

"I'm aware of my options," John said looking over his shoulder. "Thanks."

He left the room and walked over to the dorms. As he got close he looked over to the athletic health care centre; he needed someone to cheer him up and Randy could do that. As he headed that way he spotted Cody entering the building.

It was a punch to gut as John remembered the reason he avoided the building and stopped himself from visiting Randy. If he continued, Randy lost his job, and that was the last thing on earth he wanted to happen. He was sacrificing his own happiness for Randy. Even if Randy never knew.

* * *

 _That night_

Chris sat on his bed watching as John was packing his bags. He got within touching distance of completing his first year, and it was being ripped away.

What was the point in staying at college if he wasn't able to get his degree? He considered his options and there was no way his parents could afford to pay for John to continue his education. One of the first things they asked when they visited him in hospital was what happen to his scholarship money.

As it was, they needn't be concerned at the time since he could have his treatment and return to action with the football team over the summer. Somewhere along the line, by his own doing and slow action to have a follow up visit with his doctor, it hindered his progress enough he wasn't able to compete.

Randy mentioned there were funds available to those who lost sports scholarship, but that meant moving to an alternative college, again, something that John didn't want to do. His friends were here, and Randy; at least at the time that was case. Was he happy to move now?

"John, you can't just up and leave," Chris said. "At least stay until the end of the semester and finish your courses."

"What's the point? Either way I'll be a college dropout," John said. "Might as well do that now than in a month."

"That's not what I mean; once you've slept on it you might look at your options and decide you'll take your chances," Chris said.

"Whatever, I'm not sticking around 'just in case'," John sniped. "I tried. It didn't happen. I might as well give up."

"That's not the John Cena I met," Chris tried to convince him. "The John Cena I met was someone who wanted everything. Now, because you can't have one thing, you won't fight for the other."

"I'm tired of having this conversation," John said leaving the room and heading toward the laundry room downstairs. He was sure he left his shirts there and although he wasn't too concerned if he was missing them when he went home, he wanted to get away from Chris and it was the best if not only reason he came up with.

John took as long as possible in the laundry room, sitting around the corner on the bench just to get away from the constant conversation. Two of the worst days of his life happened consecutively and he didn't want to analyse them and come up with a positive solution.

He returned to his and Chris's room. When he got there, Chris was moving his bag, so it was under the bed, considering an out of sight out of mind way, but it wasn't likely to work. He said nothing and just climbed on his bed punching a pillow before curling around it facing the wall.

The sound of his phone beeping made him turn over and grab it from his cabinet. A message from Randy. It was the first one in over a week since Randy realised there was no point.

 _I HEARD, I'M SORRY 3_

He deleted the message. He still wanted to climb into Randy's arms and have him cheer him up, but the fates denied him that too. That was another thing that went wrong this year. He was straight when he got to college, then Randy happened. Now he headed home apprehensive, wondering if his parents could tell he was gay.

His phone rang this time and he nearly cancelled it without looking but he was glad he did, seeing his brother's name and picture flashing up on the screen.

"Hey Steve... I'm having a rough couple days..." John listened to his brother then sighed and looked over to Chris. "He's my roommate... I want to come home right now... No, what's the point in sticking around... Steve I tried, and failed... Yes, I have, I'll be leaving without a degree, sounds similar to failure."

John listened to his brother telling him everything Chris told him, and it wasn't convincing him.

"Right," he said, tired of listening to his brother. "Yeah, fine... I said yes, I'll finish the semester and reassess when I get home... Whatever... I'll speak to you later."

John hung up and chucked his phone on the cabinet, "Guess you got your way."

"Sorry, man, but nothing convinces someone better than an older brother."

* * *

 _Three days later_

John wondered why he always ended up being the sober one when he was out with friends. He drank his share, yet come hell or high water he was always helping them back home afterward making sure they didn't get in trouble.

"Come on, one more," Chris said detaching himself from John and heading toward the bar they passed.

"Chris, come on man, you're wasted," John complained following Chris.

Chris ignored him and entered the building paying for entry before John stopped him. He held his head and followed, using the last of the money he brought with him. So much for thinking he saved a few bucks.

As he descended the steps into the club he realised where they were entering. Shit, did Chris even realise he was entering a gay club. John didn't even realise they were in the right district. He caught up with Chris at the bottom of the stairs just staring out into the sea of people. John wondered if he noticed but decided not when Chris took off for the bar.

"What you having John?" Chris called as they stood at the bar waiting to be served.

"A light bud will be fine," John said causing Chris to roll his eyes.

John turned at the bar and looked out among the crowd, giving up on keeping Chris sober, he lost that battle an hour ago. He realized Randy might be out having a few drinks and he scoured the throng of men looking for him. Instead, he spotted someone he didn't want to bump into again. Brock. Or was it Rock? Either way it didn't matter, he thought the name was stupid.

At that moment, Brock turned his head searching around and locked eyes on John, scaring him. He needed to stop this before it happened. He turned away to face the bar as Chris handed him a bottle.

Chris stumbled as he turned and John caught him. That's when it hit him; he held onto Chris for a few seconds too long and plastered a fake smile onto his face, laughing at a witty joke, or at least he hoped it looked that way.

Chris was too out of it to realise what John was doing, and John led him toward a table, keeping an arm around him. Brock's figure was just in his eye line but he could not tell if the man was approaching him or just watching.

"It's not nice to laugh at me John," Chris slurred as he fell into a chair.

"It's funny man, you're pissed out your skull and can't stand," John said with a genuine smile this time. "I will take great pleasure in telling you this tomorrow morning."

John looked over his shoulder at the first sign of movement and noticed Brock was disappearing in the opposite direction, a twink in tow. At least he's getting laid that night, the little guy was hanging on his every word.

* * *

 _With Randy..._

Randy needed the night out. Somewhere in the last month his life took a turn for the worse. With no explanation, John cut him out of his life; his colleagues at work didn't value his ability, and that was becoming more than obvious. It became so difficult, for the first time since working there, Randy was applying for a new job.

Right now though, he didn't care, he wanted to drink beer while a nameless idiot rode his leg, if it led to something further, then hooray because it was too damn long since anyone was in his bed beside him. The likelihood of it going further was minimal since the guy didn't have a clue what he was doing on a dance floor, didn't pick up on the fact that Randy wasn't even semi hard.

He took a swig from his beer and looked around the rest of the dance floor eyeing up the other dancers but there wasn't anyone who took his fancy. Casting a wider net to those sat at the tables and those idling nearby he spotted a couple he might try later but as he kept going round the room his head snapped back to two guys stumbling across the room.

Well, one of them was. He swore under his breath, grabbed his dance partner around the waist, lifted him up with one arm and moved him off his leg.

"Nice meeting you," Randy muttered before leaving the floor.

He made a dash for John, desperate to talk to him and get things back. Everything was better when they were hanging out. With John trying to get Chris out of the club, a failed date if he ever there was one, Randy could catch up with him.

"Hey, need a hand," he said grabbing John's arm to stop him.

John looked at him and then at his arm where Randy held him. This was going to be awkward.

"I'm fine, Chris is just... heavy," John said. Randy stepped around the pair and pulled Chris's free arm around his shoulders and told John that he wanted to help. It wasn't true, but what he wanted to do, he couldn't. "Fine."

Randy said nothing to John as they wove the drunk man through the crowds and over to the stairs leading to the exit. He wasn't sure how to talk with John, short of, why did you cut me out of your life?

"I got it from here," John broke the silence as they hit the open air.

Randy helped him to the nearest bench with Chris and they sat the man on the bench, half comatose from his drinking. Randy thought Chris' drinking levels should be higher than they were considering John said he was out most weekends.

"There's a food joint around the corner. Let me get him a coffee, try to sober him up enough to get him home," Randy said thinking of ways to be useful and stay with John longer.

"Fine, tell me how much I owe you," John said. "I don't even have enough for the cab ride back to campus."

"Don't worry," Randy smiled backing away to head to the cafe.

It was a reprieve for five minutes to get his head straight. John was upset with him, but he know why. Whatever it was he needed a clean state with the young man.

After getting them coffee, Randy returned to the two men sat on the bench with Chris resting his head on John's shoulder and his hand wandering over his chest. Randy laughed at the pair, Chris the drunk idiot and John so uptight and scared he won't move.

"I love you baby," Chris slurred and drooled against John.

"You came out then," Randy said half mocking John. He was proud of him for telling his friend so soon that they went to a gay club.

"I haven't," John snapped taking his and Chris's drinks from Randy.

"It was a joke... somewhat," Randy said shrugging. "Look you can't get him back home and up to your room by yourself, let me help."

"Whatever," John gave in easier than Randy expected, even if it was with hesitance.

* * *

 _Back on campus_

"I need to get the door," John said fumbling for his key as Randy tried to keep Chris standing.

Chris was going to have a massive hangover in the morning, even into the afternoon. Randy remembered those days and learnt a few lessons along the way.

"Okay, I got it," John whispered trying to keep the door from banging when he pushed it open. "His is the far bed."

Randy led Chris over to the bed on the far side of the room. He forgot how crappy the rooms were. No wonder John was always coming over to his to hang out. There was enough space for two beds, a desk each and two wardrobes. They were lucky enough to have an en suite, but it was tiny, just a hand basin and the toilet.

"I haven't missed living in dorms," Randy said chuckling.

"I need to be sick," Chris mumbled before making a dash to the small washroom. He got in the room before throwing up and slamming the door.

"That's my cue to leave," Randy said smiling after being left alone with John who took a seat on his bed. "I guess I'll talk to you soon."

"Yeah," John said avoiding eye contact with Randy.

He wished John gave him the chance to look in them, he read John's emotions so easily through his eyes. His mom once said that the eyes were the windows to a person's soul, and with John, he absolutely believed that.

"Good night," Randy murmured turning to leave. His fingers were on the door handle when he was stopped.

"Stay," John whispered.

Randy turned around when his prayers were answered; John was baring his soul for him and at that moment, John was lost, unable to find his way. His sexuality was part of it and he wished he could help with it in the way they both wished, but it was too difficult. There was no chance of having a proper relationship if they hid it from everyone. Nobody was going to care that they loved each other, the focus would be on the age gap, and how Randy was a member of the faculty, and make their judgements.

"Please," John pleaded with him.

John's desperation matched his own and John just wanted one more taste. One more kiss. It was too much to hold out any longer; he wanted to pretend it was for John but it was impossible. He needed this. He needed something positive back in his life when there was nothing.

Randy grabbed the back of John's head and pulled him in tight to his body. The kiss was rougher than their last kiss but he didn't care. He plunged his tongue into John's mouth, tangling it with his. John responded to him, raking his hands across his grade one hair.

He pulled John over to the bed, sat and then pulled John so he was straddling his lap, their desire for one another obvious as they pressed tight together. As tight as they were, Randy grabbed John's butt through his jeans and pulled his closer again, rolling his hips against John's.

"Kiss me," Randy breathed.

John continued kissing him as before, hot and heavy. Randy's tongue battling with John for domination and winning, the sound of victory was John's moan into the kiss. He let his hands slide up under John's shirt, pushing the material away from skin. Needing more, he grabbed the edge of the shirt on both sides and pulled it up, getting tangled as he remembered it was a dress shirt.

He wanted to rip it open and forget the buttons, but John may kill him when he tried to find the buttons the next day. Instead, one hand held John's head still so he didn't stop kissing him, while the other circled around and unbuttoned the shirt trailing his fingers across John's abs as he moved to the next button. With the last button undone, he pushed the shirt back from John's shoulders and threw it to the floor, pulling back from the kiss. His lips moved to John's neck and collarbone attacking his skin as he grabbed John under his butt, lifted him from his lap and throwing him onto the small bed. He needed more space than what the room allowed and he preferred the idea of being at his place, but this was fine for now.

Climbing over him he resumed kissing John's skin, raking his teeth to John's nipple and biting, moving to do the same to the other side. His hand ran over John's abs. When his fingers brushed against the edge of John's jeans, Randy slowed a moment, considering whether he should do this, but his hormones took over and he pulled open the button fly of John's pants. The backs of his fingers brushed against John's manhood and he was sure his own twitched in anticipation.

John's breathing was heavy as he stared at the covered flesh, his fingers tracing John's abs again, teasing John where he was heading next. His fingers slid under the waistband of John's boxers and he pulled on the stretchy skin tight material.

The sound of the flush in the bathroom shattered their lust induced moment and Randy pulled back, the realisation of what he was doing with John dawning in his mind. He needed to get out there while he was still able. If Chris walked out of the bathroom his livelihood was finished.

"I need to go," Randy said noticing the hurt in John's eyes. "I'm sorry."

He backed out the room and left the building, not believing how dumb he could be, doing that with John. He needed to get away from the college, the sooner the better before he damaged his career.

* * *

 _The next day_

John pushed Chris into the coffee shop, laughing at the state Chris was in after their night out. At least he didn't need to go to class or practise this morning.

"Stop whining," John chastised him. "My head is throbbing."

"How? You weren't drunk last night," Chris asked confused.

John wasn't going to tell him that his headache came from a different source. His was a confusing and sleepless night and kept him awake long after Chris passed out on the bed.

"I guess I can't handle my drink," John lied. "Go get a table. I'll get coffee and something to eat."

"I want nothing," Chris instructed.

"It'll make you better."

John grabbed two coffee cups and used the self-service machine and took them to the young girl serving.

"Two croissants," John requested. Something plain might help settle Chris' stomach, not to mention his own. He gave himself to Randy last night, stripped half naked and eager. If a drunk Chris didn't interrupt, he wondered if he'd have gone the distance.

John lay awake the rest of the night going over every word and every move, more the latter since they didn't speak, except for the odd instruction to kiss one another. He nearly found out how Randy's hand felt wrapped around his hard cock and he imagined what Randy's next move was.

John was so caught up in Randy's actions, he didn't try to remove Randy's clothes from him; he wondered if he annoyed Randy by not doing that, he'd enjoy it more if you'd been an active part of the moment John admonished himself.

"Did we bump into Mr Orton last night?" Chris asked as John put the plates on the table.

"Um, yeah," John said not looking at Chris.

"He helped me get you back to the room."

"I'll thank him next time I'm near his office," Chris said with a smile. "It explains a dream from last night."

"What dream?"

"I was in the bathroom and heard moaning so I opened the door expecting Barbie," Chris explained. "But instead it was you and Mr Orton. Weird."

John sat shocked for a second or two unable to form any words. Did it happen and Chris' hung over brain was just telling him it was a dream?

"Yeah, weird," John said trying to laugh.

"The worst thing is, I can picture it still," Chris said. "You were straddling his lap just Barbie does me when we're kissing."

Chris sipped at his coffee while John picked his croissant to pieces, trying to come up with a plausible reason for being with Randy.

"Umm, don't tell him your dream when you thank him," John said. "It might freak him out."

"Not from what I hear," Chris said raising his eyebrows before leaning across the table. "I overheard the seniors on the wrestling team saying they saw him with this guy in their freshman year."

"Wh-what's that supposed to prove?"

"John, they weren't sitting around talking," Chris insinuated.

John knew what he was trying to get across, he was close to having sex with him last night.

A pang of jealousy surged through him as he thought of Randy being with another guy, even if it were a few years back. Randy was his. Except that he wasn't. He never will be. After he finished the year without re-enrolling there was nothing stopping him from driving over every weekend to spend time together.

"Oh, hey, Barb's here," Chris said getting up and grabbing his coffee. "I'll catch you later."

"Yeah," John said still decimating his pastry.

John headed back to his room to think things through, on the verge of giving in and heading over to Randy's house. Last night was intense, and he was struggling to move passed it. Randy was the first guy he ever kissed, and it kept happening. Randy liked him, he made that obvious, but the man's self-control was greater than John's, and John hated him for it.

"Did you have a good night last night?" Cody said falling in line beside him.

John came to a halt facing Cody. The older man just looked at him with a knowing smile. Was he at a club somewhere?

"Yeah we did, we should have been studying for finals but we both needed to let loose," John said resuming his walk.

"John, don't think I care that you weren't studying," Cody said stopping him. "I care that Randy helped you home."

"He was just being responsible," John defended Randy's actions. "Chris drunk one too many."

"You are naïve boy," Cody said shaking his head. "The again, I should be clearer. I heard your friend talking to you in the coffee shop. That was a very vivid dream. Now you may be naïve, but don't think for a second I am."

"What are you talking-?" John asked trying to stay calm and play it cool. There was too much at stake for Randy.

"I'm meeting with my boss tomorrow, let's hope that Randy's cameo in your friends dream doesn't slip out."

Cody walked away looking proud at his actions, leaving John scared and alone not knowing what to do. What was worse, there was no one to talk to.

* * *

So much for thinking.

John spent the last hour pacing back and forth across his room. If Chris arrived back he'd think something happened. At least, something new. It was possible he lost Randy his job, what was worse than that.

How did he handle it? Cody was on campus today for whatever reason. Should he confront Cody or was that making it worse?

John must have tried to call Randy ten times while he was pacing but never hit the call button on his phone. Alongside he wrote a text message and deleted it five times.

It was no good, he Randy needed to know.

 _CHRIS CAUGHT US... AND CODY KNOWS  
_

John paced the room while he waited for a reply to come back. John hoped he called instead. He missed talking to him. Missed spending time with him at the house. The first time he woke up there was weird, not being familiar with the room it took a moment to remember where he was. He wanted it to be a regular occurrence but Randy didn't let him, saying it's too suspicious if he did. There were a few occasions when he stayed, if he fell asleep while reading the chapters for his classes. He always got too comfy while he was reading. Randy watched something on the television, or marked assignments, and John leant back against him and read. He kept the smile from his face when Randy relaxed and his arm slid around the side and on the odd occurrence slipped further pulling him close enough to rest on his chest.

 _WHAT? HOW DID CODY FIND OUT?  
_

 _CHRIS AND I WERE IN THE COFFEE SHOP ON CAMPUS AND HE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS DREAM WHERE THE TWO OF US WERE MAKING OUT. I DIDN'T SEE CODY THERE AND HE OVERHEARD.  
_

 _CHRIS SAID IT WAS A DREAM WHY DO YOU AND CODY THINK IT ACTUALY HAPPENED?  
_

 _IF IT WERE A DREAM HE'S GOT A GOOD IMAGINATION BECAUSE HE DESCRIBED HOW I... POSITIONED MYSELF.  
_

 _SO YOU CONFIRMED IT?!  
_

 _NO! I LAUGHED IT OFF AND TOLD HIM NOT TO MENTION IT. CODY STOPPED ME ON THE WAY BACK TO THE RESIDENCE HALLS. I GUESS HE READ BETWEEN THE LINES.  
_

John waited for a few minutes for Randy's next reply but nothing came.

 _I'LL HANDLE CODY. JUST MAKE SURE CHRIS KEEPS QUIET.  
_

 _HE WILL I PROMISE.  
_

He threw his phone on the bed and went into the bathroom to splash water on his face. Chris wasn't going to talk to anyone, he thought it was a drunken dream, besides a straight guy won't admit to dreaming of two guys making out.

John headed back to his bed, picking up a textbook to study. As he read through the first page, his phone beeped again.

 _LAST NIGHT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. I'M SORRY.  
_

 _I'M NOT.  
_

 _YOU SHOULD BE. NOTHING CAN HAPPEN BETWEEN US.  
_

 _WHEN I FINISH AT THE END OF THE YEAR I WON'T BE A STUDENT.  
_

After waiting for a few more minutes, John threw his phone onto his desk and got stuck into his revising. He needed to pass his courses because he promised his brother. He didn't want to continue, but at least he can say he did his freshman year.

* * *

 _The next day_

"Do you have a minute," Randy said blocking Cody's path into the main treatment room.

"I'm meeting," Cody said trying to move Randy's arm blocking his path.

"You still have a few minutes, I'm sure," Randy said towering over Cody. He took Cody by the crook of his arm and led him into a smaller treatment room.

"Why are you threatening a student?"

"I'm not," Cody said with a smirk. "I'm a member of staff who overheard something which concerned me. It's my responsibility to report it."

"You'll ruin that kid's life," Randy said. "He stopped coming to his physical therapy sessions."

"But that's the thing, Randy. You said it, he's a kid," Cody said remaining serious and professional. Cody was an expert manipulator. "It concerned me when I heard that another student saw you having sex with him."

"You son of bitch," Randy said grabbing his shirt and forcing him against a wall. "You're well aware that nothing has happened, and you're willing to lie and ruin his future. Drag him into something that will stay with him for the rest of his time at college."

"You should have thought of that before you started a relationship with him," Cody said shoving Randy off him. "You should've dated a grown man."

"Is that why you're meddling?" Randy laughed. "This is just a vendetta because I didn't go out with you. You're pathetic."

Randy finished the conversation. If Cody wanted to tell their boss, then he more than welcome. Drag John into it and ask him; John wasn't going to tell anybody. Not even his roommate was aware he was gay.

Besides, it didn't matter anymore. He handed his notice in that morning.

* * *

A few days after Randy handed his notice in he received a steady stream of colleagues stopping by to catch up with him and wish him the best. A number mentioned their concern over his choice when they heard he was moving into a similar position just at another college. He persuaded them it was okay when he explained he was heading back to St Louis to be near his family. As soon as he said that, they shut up and said they understood, family was important. Randy just wished it were the truth. As much as he missed his family, he loved his job, or at least he used to.

"Can we come in," the head coach of the football club interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah," he said still out of it. "Sorry, yes, how can I help?"

"Well, we wanted to pick your brains over a student," Coach said as the head of the athletic training programme sat in his office.

"Who?"

"John Cena," the program director stated.

"He isn't one of my students," Randy said confused.

"No, but due to his injury, he spent more time with you than anyone else," she said.

"What's the issue?"

"He hasn't filled in his paperwork for next year. If he wants to secure a place on the programme he needs to do that in the next two weeks," the director explained.

Randy couldn't believe what he heard. He didn't know that John wasn't planning on continuing his studying. The last time he saw John, the night that shouldn't have happened, he spotted his books open on his desk, strewn over his bed. John was studying, but why wasn't he signing on for his sophomore year.

"I'm not sure if he's been looking into his other options for the financial side, but John didn't react well to losing his scholarship," the director said. "I went to Coach to check if he and John spoke-"

"Truth is Randy, after his injury, John wasn't around," Coach shrugged. "You spent more time with him than me this semester and he respects your opinion."

"I'm afraid I won't be any help, he's missed his PT sessions for the last three weeks," Randy said distraught at finding out that John wasn't continuing. Why was John throwing away his future because of football?

"He didn't find out he was losing his scholarship until after that," the director said becoming more confused. "Randy, if he respects you. Can you-"

"Try is what I can do," Randy said depressed. "Few people listen much anymore."

"John has a bright future if he keeps applying himself, we have to find out what's stopping him."

"Thanks, Randy," Coach said standing up and holding his hand out to the man. Randy was grateful for the misplaced show of confidence in his abilities. "Tell John if he keeps applying himself, I'm happy to offer him a training position after he graduates."

"I'll try to get that through to him," Randy said laughing as the coach and director left his office.

* * *

 **A/N: I know it was ridiculously long but hey there was a bit of sauciness in there as well.**

 **Hope you enjoyed and please review :)**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know I ended up posting this quickly, but we're nearing the end. The next part is just the epilogue setting up book two. After that's posted it will be a while until you get the next instalment as I need to work out what happens during the year. Hope you enjoy this chapter anyway :)**

* * *

John returned to his dorm from the campus coffee shop with a hot coffee and sandwich, exhausted. It was the first day of finals and he was heading back to continue revising for the rest of his subjects. At least the ridiculous volume of assignments and self-study he did each week disappeared after finals. He wasn't sure why he'd agreed with his brother to stay at college after deciding. It was just to leave and not cause rumours around burning out and not having what it took.

When he came back to dump his bag, he opened the door and spotted an envelope on the floor with his name on it.

 _COME FIND ME BEFORE YOU LEAVE. YOU NEED YOUR PAPERWORK FOR YOUR PT SESSIONS. RANDY_

He didn't want to do it but he didn't have a choice. He threw his bag on the bed and headed back out. If he went now Randy should be free and it the encounter will be over with, quick and painless. He'd missed the sessions. As long as they worked, John was free to ask whatever he wanted. His relationship with Randy became complicated because of it but he didn't regret it. Until Cody made him face the truth; Randy lost his job if they continued. He missed Randy; but he hadn't missed his shoulder aching from the work outs though.

He went to the training centre, praying Cody wasn't there. As it was, neither man was. He asked where Randy was; he wanted to speak with him before he left for summer, but he was out of luck as Randy was with another student.

He still had his number, and he paused a moment before pulling his phone out and sending a message to Randy.

 _CAME TO FIND YOU. YOU WERE TREATING SOMEONE. HAVE THE OFFICE SEND IT TO MY HOME ADDRESS._

Now as he sunk into his chair to study his phone vibrated with a return message.

 _I'VE WRITTEN UP RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE FILE. NEED TO GO THROUGH THEM WITH YOU._

John was fuming. He was trying to save Randy his job, and he threw it back in his face as Randy kept trying to pull him back into the mess that was their relationship.

 _WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE FUCKING CODY?_

 _WTF?!_

 _YEAH I HE TOLD ME. PLUS I DON'T WANT THE NOTES OR YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS. ANY PT CAN TELL THE PROGRESS FROM MY SCANS._

The last text message didn't get a reply, and he calmed himself before trying again to focus on his books. He was just getting in the zone when someone pounded on his door.

"What?!" he complained throwing open the door.

"Listen up, you immature little boy," Randy pushed passed him into the room. "I don't care what you've heard but I'd never touch his asshole if he was the only one available. And here's another thing, even if I was fucking him, it's none of your business. You're a student. We'll never have a relationship."

"Thanks for coming over here to clarify," John spat back stung by Randy's words. "You're free to get everything off your chest that you want to tell me."

"Fine, first off, here's your medical file," he threw it on John's bed. "Get it to your doctor and visit another PT to finish the job because you haven't attended your appointments for a month and I can tell the work we did has regressed."

"Second," John asked, seething that Randy had the gumption to come to his room and lecture him.

"You told me you wanted to prove something to your family. I still don't understand what you have to prove because you're a smart guy. If you drop out of college, you prove how stupid you are."

"I can report you for the way you're speaking."

"Then report me. I don't care," Randy snapped. "There are others who are glad the year is out. I'm heading home to Missouri and forgetting this place."

Randy hung his head and went passed John to the door having said too much.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah. I put my notice in last week. I'm seeing the year through," Randy explained with his back to John.

John moved to his bed and sat, trying to take in that Randy had quit his job. "Listen, do me a favour."

"What?" John asked.

"Don't quit. Come back next year and put everything you have into your college work; there are grants available for students who lose their sports scholarships. You aren't the first person it's to happen to and you won't be the last."

"I'll think it through."

"There's nothing can be asked more than that," Randy smirked at John over his shoulder. "I should go."

"Yeah, okay."

John sat there for a moment as Randy left his room, repeating Randy's words over and over again in his head. He moved to his desk and pulled out his readmission paperwork. Randy was right. There was more to life than football and money.

* * *

 _Four days later_

It had been a long day for Cody and he was looking forward to cracking open a can of beer. The year was over and he was due a long break. He still had to mark the exams his classes had sat, but he had the rest of the week to put the scores onto the college database before his vacation started.

He was late arriving home due to a student popping in to discuss a piece of work. Sometimes he hated his job, but then he remembered why he went into teaching. He enjoyed seeing the kids take on board what he taught them and finding their way in life. He still gets emails from them keeping him informed of their progress.

When he pulled onto his drive he was considering whether to cook or order his dinner. He hated eating unhealthy food but sometimes life just called for a pizza. Today was one of those days. He grabbed his bag from his passenger seat but before he could open the door himself, someone opened it for him.

"Hi," the smooth southern voice said.

Cody sat in his car, shocked, unable to believe his eyes. It was him. His young face still perfect in every way. He'd missed his doting eyes and quirky smile.

"Ted?"

"Yeah, I'm here," he said holding his hand out for Cody.

Cody went to take his hand but stopped himself. Instead, he stood and brushed passed him.

"What are you doing here? You went to Florida?" Cody asked heading for his front door, trying to get away.

"I missed you," Ted said keeping up with him. "I was wrong to go. My concentration has been off this year."

"Try harder," he snapped, fiddling with his keys trying to get the right one for the house. "You can't just show up."

"Why not? Have you moved on?"

"Ted it's been a year since you left me," Cody said ducking his head avoiding making eye contact.

"I made a mistake," Ted admitted. "My heart is here with you. I tried dating but nobody compared. The guys were immature, or in the closet. I want to be open with my affections."

Cody opened his door and stepped in before turning on his heel blocking Ted's entrance.

"You and I were never open with our affections. You were a student," Cody snapped. "The only time we were open was when you were here, or the few times we went away for a weekend."

"Don't forget Spring Break," Ted said stepping in close. "We both enjoyed that long, hot, week."

"Ted," Cody said holding him back with his hand. He felt the muscles under his shirt and tried not to falter.

"I remember how I made you ride my cock," Ted whispered. "How you enjoyed sliding along my thick length."

"Ted," Cody murmured, losing his cool. "No."

"It's not what I enjoyed most though, do you remember?" Ted asked him taking hold of his hand and linking their fingers.

"I remember," Cody admitted, pulling on Ted's hand dragging him inside and closing the door. "You enjoyed having your ass in the air waiting for me to fuck you."

"God yes," Ted said smiling with his eyes.

"Shut up and kiss me," Cody ordered pushing Ted against the door.

* * *

 _That evening_

Stage one complete. His forms were complete. Stage two. Call a cab. Done. Stage three. Have the courage to kiss Randy. Well, he was working on it. Working on it outside Randy's house having pressed the doorbell. What was he doing? Again! Why did he keep doing this? Turning up without forewarning Randy. Randy was heading for the front door and he heard his voice. Shit. He had guests. It could be just one guest. Shit, please don't be Cody.

Randy answered the door and stopped talking. His phone to his ear. "I have to go."

He waited for Randy to end the call before speaking, or at least try to talk.

"I wanted to stop you quitting."

"John," Randy closed his eyes and sighed. "I told you. I put in my notice. My boss accepted it the same day."

"Take it back. My dad's done it before," John said as though explaining something to Randy that he didn't understand. "You have that right. My dad explained it."

"John, I'm aware of how it works," Randy said smiling at the John's state. "Come on in the house. At the least it won't be a wasted journey."

He walked into the house and John followed closing the door.

"I'll stay... If you do," John said, hoping Randy never found out he'd reapplied earlier that day.

"John, don't, I've told you."

"Yeah, but, you're making me stay, but you're leaving," John said.

"It's for the best. I can get a job at one of the college's in St Louis, be near my family again. I've missed them," Randy said sinking onto the sofa.

John sat on the sofa next to him, not knowing what else to say without repeating himself again.

"What can I do to convince you?"

Randy chuckled at John's vulnerability.

"Nothing John, I need to do this for me. I miss my family, I get on with a small group of my colleagues, and, yes, there's a small issue of being attracted to a student," Randy explained. "I'm wanting a quiet life. Or at least a simple life. Get up, go to work, come home, make out with my partner and go to bed holding him in my arms."

"We can-"

"No, we can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're a student. How can I hold you in my arms at night if you have to live on campus?"

"If I signed up for part time study, I-"

"John don't. It won't work," Randy said just as his phone rang. He pushed himself off the sofa and grabbed the phone. "Hello… Oh, hi, I wasn't expected a call..." He looked over at John before continuing his conversation. "Yeah, I'm sure. I want to get back to my family."

Randy turned away from John and went through to another room to continue his conversation. John's heart was racing as he thought how college will be the next year without Randy. It didn't sit right. Feeling sick, he got up from the sofa and headed for the front door pulling his phone out to call for a cab. He'd failed too many times, and he'd just added two more things to the list. He hadn't kissed Randy, and he hadn't convinced him to stay.

* * *

 _Four days later_

"How are you getting home tomorrow?" Chris asked passing John books to pack in their new suitcases.

"Either my dad or brother," John said shrugging. "I hope it's Steve. You?"

"Yeah, I hope it's your brother," Chris said throwing him a softball and a sarcastic smile.

"You're an idiot," John said laughing along with him. "And I was being serious."

"I told you my dad moved back to Winnipeg, right?"

"Yeah, couple months back," John nodded as he stacked books in one of his cases.

"He booked me a flight from Hartford, paid for the extra luggage," Chris said smirking. "I can't wait for the cabbie's reaction when he's trying to load these cases tomorrow morning."

"You are so evil," John threw the softball at Chris's head. It bounced off toward the door just as it opened, hitting Barbie in the face.

"Speaking of evil," Chris said with a grimace.

"Whatever," she said not rising to his comment. "You still have my stuff. I want it back."

"Oh yeah," Chris said turning away.

John continued packing, enjoying the spectacle of the separated couple. Chris had long found out Barbie was having additional relations and he called it quits, making a point of calling her a 'ho' in the common room downstairs.

"Here you go," Chris said turning back with the trash can in hand. John tried not to laugh remembering how they'd taken her the trash can and her belongings along to the river and set fire to them, roasting marshmallows and having a few beers as they celebrated his newfound freedom. "We spilt beer on them."

"And a match," John chimed in trying to stay serious as he spoke, though it was a losing battle when he caught how serious Chris was looking.

"I hate you," she screamed and stormed out the room slamming the door.

"The feeling is mutual," Chris said putting the trash can back on the floor. "Are we going to lose our security deposit because of that?"

"Yeah," John said pulling the entire drawer out from his chest of drawers. He carried it over to his bed and tipped the content into his old suitcase.

"We can't let that happen," Chris said. "And Barb's should have her stuff back."

"I hear she's heading out on the town tonight with Torrie."

"You still in contact with her?" Chris asked.

"I get a text inviting me out now and then," John shrugged. "I ignore it."

"Wise move, she's friends with Barbie; she might be as crazy," Chris said heading for the door. "I'm hitting the shower."

John continued packing their belongings into their cases after Chris disappeared. As he was packing up his desk, he came across the documents from Randy which he needed to give to his doctor, he'd asked his brother to make him an appointment for the next day to get things moving. The last couple of days he'd felt a few twinges which made him realise Randy was right. John needed his body back to full strength, even if he playing football the following year was out of the question.

He grabbed his phone from his nightstand and went into his messages pulling up his message history with Randy. He tapped in a message, asking him if he were home. John wanted to spend one more night with him, as they used to before. He went to send the message, his finger hovering over the send button, but he lost the nerve. Randy and he could never happen if Randy was heading back to St Louis. He wondered what Randy was doing with his house since there was no for sale sign, was he keeping his options open? Was he keeping it as a vacation home? Not that this was somewhere you went for a vacation.

The thought occurred to John of a long distance relationship. Flights to St Louis was under five hours and his weekends could be kept free since if he studied on his weeknights. He wondered if Randy and he could spend the holidays together, meeting his family. Able to talk every night after John had finished studying and Randy had marked any work needed doing. Then reality crashed in when he realised, he had no mean to afford the flights unless he got a job.

Forcing the issue from his mind, he focused on his packing, in particular, Chris's belongings since he was leaving early in the morning to get to the airport. It had been a weird year, and he figured being at home for the summer will help put everything back into perspective, including the irrational feelings he was having toward Randy, a man.

Plenty of people were gay for just one person; that's what it had been. A bromance gone too far. And with Randy not at the college next year, John could focus on the women.

This summer he was planning on spending as much time as possible with the girls from his old high school and getting acquainted on a level he hadn't during school.

No more experimentation.

* * *

 _The next day_

It had been a long morning so far that day. John had woken to help Chris with his belongings and to say farewell. The pair had become close friends over the year and he hoped Chris came back the next semester to continue his studies, but that depended on whether his dad came back to America.

Chris was hoping the same for John, even though John still wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He'd applied for his second year which meant if the financial aspects were resolved then he had his place reserved. Alongside his readmissions, he had applied for funding, but he didn't find out for another month or two.

"Is this everything?" his dad asked breaking into his thoughts.

"Um, yeah," he said counting the number of cases. "I'll help you with that one, it's heavy."

He looked around realising how it had been his home for the last nine months. It felt surreal to be leaving. As he looked over he spotted Randy coming along the path with a box in hand; John glanced around the car park and spotted Randy's car, thinking back on the night they went to the cinema. The intense moment inside the car when he thought Randy meant to kiss him.

"Um, I'll be back in a second," John said realising he needed to say goodbye to Randy.

"John, we need to get going," his dad said closing the trunk.

"I'll be quick, I promise," John said over his shoulder heading over to Randy.

Randy looked sombre as he put his belongings in the back of his car. It was just as much an end for Randy. He'd studied at the college before taking a job there.

"Hey," he said greeting John. "I thought you might ignore me."

"I wanted. Needed, to say goodbye," John admitted. "College won't be right without you here next year."

"It was for the best," Randy said opening the driver side door.

"Will you keep in touch?" John asked.

"There were colleagues I was friends with, so yeah," Randy nodded his response.

"I meant with me."

"I'm aware of that," Randy said looking away. "I don't… nothing can happen, John."

"If I'm in St Louis, can we meet up?"

"John, we have to go," his dad shouted from his car. John looked back toward his dad to tell him one moment, but his dad hated waiting.

"So?"

"John, you have to go," Randy said avoiding the question. "Go. Do something good with your life."

John stood for a moment longer, hoping Randy caved in and said yes; but the longer he waited the more stubborn Randy got. He took the hint, nodded, and walked away. College will get easier next year without Randy here.

* * *

 **A/N: Let me know your thoughts in your reviews :)**


	11. Epilogue

**A/N: Okay, here we go, the wrap up for Finding Contentment: Freshman Year. It's been quick posting but I hope you've enjoyed. Thanks to those who have reviewed, always appreciated.**

 **I'm now going to go away and work out what happens in the Sophomore Year so bare with me while I plan it all out.**

* * *

"Have you made your mind up on the house?" his mom asked passing him an iced tea.

"Not yet," Randy admitted. "It's nice."

"Son, if you aren't sure then don't tie yourself into a legal contract," his dad said taking the seat next to him.

As much as Randy loved being back in St Louis and seeing his family, it felt wrong taking out a mortgage and setting roots there. Truth be told, he hadn't wanted to leave Massachusetts, he liked the town where he lived. It was for the best though. That's what he kept telling himself.

"I guess I'm being careful since the sale hasn't gone through in Mass yet," Randy lied. "I'm using that as the initial payment."

Randy sat discussing his options with his parents, looking at the possibilities, including renting out the house in Massachusetts and renting here. Randy considered the choice, an added income each month could cover a large portion of his monthly expenditure.

His dad disappeared inside to watch the news while he remained outside talking to his mom. He loved being back in St Louis with her, being so much closer to her when they talked.

"Randy, do you want to be hear in St Louis?" she asked reading his mind.

"What do you mean? I do," Randy lied.

"I'm terrible for never asking of your love life, and you never volunteer and information," she said, choosing her words with caution. "Was there a special someone there?"

"No," he lied again feeling guilty. "I mean not... There was a guy I was interested in, but it went nowhere."

"We should talk more often. It's no different than your brother dating a young lady," she said shaking her head. "I want you to know that I'm not ignorant of your sexuality. You've always had my support."

"I know, and I love you for it," Randy said taking her hand, smiling.

"Why didn't it go anywhere?"

"It wasn't the right fit, we could never have worked," Randy said looking away.

His mom went to reply when his phone rang. "It's my new boss. I better take this. Hello? Yeah, hi, how are you? Good, thank you."

Listening to the change of tone in his employer's voice, Randy stood from his seat and walked along the garden path, needing to be away from the scrutiny of his mother's eyes.

"What's changed?" he asked upon hearing the news. "Fine... I can't say I'm pleased because I'm verging on angry, but I guess you've made up your minds."

He listened to the man rattle off excuses, trying to stay polite hoping the guy finished the conversation soon. After another few minutes, too many for Randy's liking, the call ended. He headed back to where his mom sat, saying nothing.

"Are you running away from your problems?" his mom asked confusing Randy.

"What?"

"This man, are you running away again?

"I didn't run from the marines, you know that," Randy said getting irritated by his mom, something that never happened.

"I'm sorry, son, I didn't mean it to sound so harsh," she apologised. "I'm just worried that you're moving back here so you need not face the trials of loving someone. It's never easy and sometimes you need to fight twice even ten times as hard as everyone else."

"So what do you think I should do?"

"Do you love him?"

"Does an unreasonable attraction count as love?"

"It's one of the signs, yes," his mom smiled.

Randy smirked back at her. He wasn't sure he loved John. He enjoyed spending time with him and his life wasn't as complete as it had been before he met John.

"Randy, I'd prefer you were half way across the country and happy than being miserable here," his mom said taking his hand. "Sometimes you need to listen to your heart and not your head."

"Last time I did that I lost my job," Randy reminded her. "Besides, it's too late, I've finished my job over there."

"Doesn't hurt to make a phone call," his mom told him.

"I guess not. I don't have a job here anymore," Randy admitted.

"What do you mean?" his mom asked shocked.

"My new boss, well I guess not now," Randy said showing his phone. "He called to say the position was no longer available due to budget cuts."

"Can they do that?"

"It looks as though they can," Randy said disappointed. "It's as you always tell me, God works in mysterious ways."

* * *

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed the Freshman Year :) Come back for the Sophomore :)**


	12. Author's Note

It's been forever and I want to apologise for the length of time it has taken to complete the second part of this story.

Check out **Finding Contentment: Sophomore Year** and let me know what you think.

The story can be found here: s/12326801/1/Finding-Contentment-Sophomore-Year


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